My mom tells a story from when I was very young—barely 3 or 4 years old. My grandfather asked me what I hoped to learn at preschool. 

"Three things," I replied. "How to read, how to play the piano, and how not to cry when I have a shampoo."

I share this story not just to point out my long-ago comedic timing, but also as my own personal proof that we're ha…