The studies you find and write about are always fascinating and interesting! I can definitely see - with women - how they take longer to think about things (mull over it, think it over) as you indicated - “For women, it can be beneficial to take time to consider major decisions." I have found this to be true especially with divorce - as they will think about it for quite some time (many, not all) and then once their decision is made, its made (most of the time). And women become more confident over time with their decision. Obviously, my "N" is limited, but my 2 cents. And also, my experience has also supported what you said - "Extra reflection seems to give negative thoughts time to pile up." I have found this also to be true, because instead of just accepting the negative thought (fact vs a feeling - often just a feeling), people return to the same narrative (going down the rabbit hole) and continue to 'tell' themselves this same narrative, often adding more things, as time goes on to their own detriment. It becomes a 'whole thing.' So, its important to stop that process in the beginning and teach people how to rewire their brain (can be done). People can pretty much talk themselves into or out of many things in life given the time. Love your newsletter!
A sociologist Deborah Tannen wrote a book back in 1990 “You just don’t understand” where she talks about how (western culture) men and women are brought up and communicate differently. Girls are taught to be inclusive, while self sufficiency is more reinforced in boys. I think this plays a part in the differences found in those studies. As a woman, in my decision making, the more I have a chance to consider the impact of that choice not only on me but within the context of how it may affect others, the more confident I feel about my choice. For someone who is dealing with anxiety, when given time to ponder the effects of these decisions (and the pond ripples of that decision widen, so to speak) it can move them into a sense of overwhelm. I would wager that the ones who get more anxious and less confident as time goes by may also be ones who, once the choice is made, will lock into that choice and be less flexible to reconsider.
I learned. Long time go that you won’t know whether the decision you made was the right one for 4-6 months, and by that time, things will have changed. And that your first choice is usually the right one. So ruminate for a bit, but just do something.
Funny how the UK has arrested two people now regarding Epstein events but the States are still in denial. What is wrong with the US? (Don’t answer, too many things at the moment! but there are good things, too)
The studies you find and write about are always fascinating and interesting! I can definitely see - with women - how they take longer to think about things (mull over it, think it over) as you indicated - “For women, it can be beneficial to take time to consider major decisions." I have found this to be true especially with divorce - as they will think about it for quite some time (many, not all) and then once their decision is made, its made (most of the time). And women become more confident over time with their decision. Obviously, my "N" is limited, but my 2 cents. And also, my experience has also supported what you said - "Extra reflection seems to give negative thoughts time to pile up." I have found this also to be true, because instead of just accepting the negative thought (fact vs a feeling - often just a feeling), people return to the same narrative (going down the rabbit hole) and continue to 'tell' themselves this same narrative, often adding more things, as time goes on to their own detriment. It becomes a 'whole thing.' So, its important to stop that process in the beginning and teach people how to rewire their brain (can be done). People can pretty much talk themselves into or out of many things in life given the time. Love your newsletter!
I’d gently call out the (8th) paragraph…”For people with anxiety,…”. Then 2 paragraphs later “For women the pattern is reversed..”
Implication that women aren’t people?
No. Maybe just opposed to men.
A sociologist Deborah Tannen wrote a book back in 1990 “You just don’t understand” where she talks about how (western culture) men and women are brought up and communicate differently. Girls are taught to be inclusive, while self sufficiency is more reinforced in boys. I think this plays a part in the differences found in those studies. As a woman, in my decision making, the more I have a chance to consider the impact of that choice not only on me but within the context of how it may affect others, the more confident I feel about my choice. For someone who is dealing with anxiety, when given time to ponder the effects of these decisions (and the pond ripples of that decision widen, so to speak) it can move them into a sense of overwhelm. I would wager that the ones who get more anxious and less confident as time goes by may also be ones who, once the choice is made, will lock into that choice and be less flexible to reconsider.
I learned. Long time go that you won’t know whether the decision you made was the right one for 4-6 months, and by that time, things will have changed. And that your first choice is usually the right one. So ruminate for a bit, but just do something.
Funny how the UK has arrested two people now regarding Epstein events but the States are still in denial. What is wrong with the US? (Don’t answer, too many things at the moment! but there are good things, too)