Bill, it is a bit off topic but also very related. I was driving down the road and I passed a bank branch that almost never has more than two cars parked out in the lot. I spoke to my husband about my thoughts then, which I will share with you. I feel like our world is headed in the direction of loneliness despite the fact that so much time and attention has been devoted to the subject. We check ourselves out at the grocery, we use ATM’s instead of bank tellers, we order online instead of going to a mall, and we have our food delivered to a porch to avoid the risk of human contact even after Covid! Many doctor’s offices have more virtual appointments than in person. What I am going to agree with you on is people need people! Go in the bank, go through a line with a checker (are they still called that? I am not sure) but for sure go on dates if you’re single! Chicken sandwich for the first date… I vote no unless it is a lunch date. There are plenty of restaurants to go that are not 5 Star and could be an affordable date. But seeing someone interacting with wait staff helps you see who they are in my opinion. Anyway, I teach card classes in senior living facilities every month and they thank me every month for coming to spend time with them. The human race needs human interaction! I read an article in Reader’s Digest years ago, that I will never forget. It was about how solitary confinement was the most detrimental thing to do to a human. Date people, and at least spend time chatting with people when you’re out and about, you never know if that person has anyone to talk to outside of home. Yes, I talk to strangers all the time. Some reciprocate, some are not nice. But in a Bible study class years ago ( I got kicked out for coughing….that is a story) they asked the question what is something every Christian can do to make people feel seen? My answer was smile at them. (Send cards was also a suggestion) One smile can change a person’s day. End of rant. :) I’m smiling at you all!
Never use a self checkout, even if you have to wait. You are not getting paid to do that (no discount) so why should you? Wouldn’t you rather an employee get paid?
You’re right but I feel that maybe it’s only us oldsters who didn’t grow up in the age of electronic babysitters who know that. When I was still in the States, I had friends who had a granddaughter they overly doted on. Her dad worked for one of the large cell companies so this child cut her teeth on a cell phone. She carried it with her everywhere. The thing is, as she got older, even though she was in school, the child either could not or would not engage with other people. She barely did so with her own grandparents. I found that incredibly sad. To my way of thinking, the child was stunted. Communicating with others can be difficult enough for many under normal circumstances. I don’t know how teachers deal with children like this child because I know she’s the rule instead of the exception.
As for me, at age 78, I’ve had to resurrect my high school and college Spanish so I can better communicate and interact with my friends and neighbors where I currently live. Life is so much richer in community. I’m beginning immersive lessons tomorrow and find I’m already getting excited.
The best date I ever went on? Back in the 1980’s, there was an article in the local paper with a guy complaining there were no single women in the city. Well being single, couldn’t let that go. So I responded. We met at the local zoo, had a nice few hours and left on good terms. We weren’t compatible but I did prove that the single women were out there. Sometimes I wonder what happened to that guy.
Always thought the substance was more important than the location. And most people can find something to eat at a fast food restaurant, might not be the same at a restaurant. Plus if the date isn’t going anywhere, you can be fed and done in 20 minutes!
I also try to talk to people every day, even if it’s just saying hi as we pass on the street. Never know when that might make a difference in someone’s life.
I never went to a Chik-fil-A for YEARS, until one time when I was at an airport. By myself. Never have been back, but I'm not a fan of any fast food places. And btw, I don't consider Pizza Hut a fast food place, but I'm not a fan of theirs, either...
If asked on a date for a fast food place it wouldn't be distasteful due to cost, etc, but because that's not the way I eat, altho my understanding (I haven't been in years) is they now serve salads, right? So that would be fine.
During my dating times while on-line, arrangements were often made to meet at coffee shops so it would be easy to grab something quick & leave if that was the decision, or stay & have more & chat or perhaps go for a walk in the area...
while dating husband, he took me on a surprise date - a helicopter ride above the city. That was definitely a surprise, & fun.
This brought me to thinking about the ongoing debate on remote vs. in-person work. I made a comment on social media one day that remote work killed socialization, collaboration and the start of some amazing friendships. I was LAMBASTED by 20-30 somethings who told me to mind my own business, that they didn't need to make friends at work, that their social lives don't revolve around the work place, and that I should choke and die on my old lady point of view, etc. One woman really let me have it in the rudest of ways (worse than the last comment), so I reminded her that being a keyboard cowboy, calling people names and belittling them anonymously, is the reason she needs in-person work, so she can learn manners and remember what she was taught in Kindergarten, because she clearly forgot how to be a member of society. Her response was not very lady like. 😄
I can't tell you how many of my coworkers met their spouses in the office, or through friends in the office. Todays younger workforce has no idea what they have missed out on by being forced to work remotely. Our current birth rates are proof that being sequestered at home has a ripple effect that reaches far and wide into other areas of our lives. Don't get me started on social skills.
I agree with you that all of our choices today seem to be driving us to alone, versus together. My daughter is in that age group and while she likes working from home, thinks the hybrid version is best for all the reasons you cited. To be invested in work relationships I do think you have to see each other, and get to know each other in person. Online we all behave our best, it’s not realistic. I truly believe the reason so many kids are having mental health issues is related 95% to all their lives being online exclusive.
I am at odds with remote work. If during COVID empoyees were highly praised for pivoting and maintaining productivety at home, why now are those same corporations demanding people return to the office for productivety reasons? I personnally want to be in the office, I need the boundaries, and dare I say space from my spouse. As more people return to the office, let's be real, there is no synergy going on, so trust and let those who want to WFH, WFM! Set up KPIs to assist with trust, but let them WFH. But I do agree with the loneliness WFH folks must ensdure and the human race wasn't made for isolation.
I think my daughter would agree. My husband excels working from home. I have my own business and struggle at times . I need the occasional reminder to get back to work from my husband. I also recently came out of retirement and returned to 911 as they needed qualified people and couldn’t find any. This is a 1-2 year gig tops but it has definitely kept me on my toes with my business.
Bill, your decision to date 100 single women in a year to find your Shangri-la is exactly what I have recommended to many single friends. I have encouraged them to think about dating as a funnel theory. Instead of only allowing one or two people through the smallest part of the funnel, then having to compromise on what you are looking for long term-similar values, beliefs, having fun together, date lots. So many people rule out someone to date even before meeting them. Meet lots of people to find the one who is the best match for you.
I try not to be the pushy mom with my sons, but I might have to forward this to my two oldest sons. #1 has used dating apps with a lot of frustration. #2 had high functioning autism ( like my husband) and is open to dating yet cynical. The are both telecommunications aerial linemen, so they don't have much opportunity through work to meet people.
My husband and I met in our last year of university, so perhaps it made more sense at the time, but our first date was at Peanuts, a cheap (but delicioius) breakfast place, near school, and our second date was at a cheap (but delicioius) Chinese place next to his usual laundry mat. (No, I did not do his laundry, nor did I keep him company while he washed/dried, he tried hard for either, but I didn't budge. Post marriage, laundry has always been his task. I've lost several lovely items to the dryer; but throughout our 40 year relationship, the benefits of him doing laundry have far outweighed the losses!) We both have fond memories of those two cheap places.
I think fast food or inexpensive dates are great for a first date. My husband and I had our first date at Cici's pizza and we've been married over 28 years.
Bill, it is a bit off topic but also very related. I was driving down the road and I passed a bank branch that almost never has more than two cars parked out in the lot. I spoke to my husband about my thoughts then, which I will share with you. I feel like our world is headed in the direction of loneliness despite the fact that so much time and attention has been devoted to the subject. We check ourselves out at the grocery, we use ATM’s instead of bank tellers, we order online instead of going to a mall, and we have our food delivered to a porch to avoid the risk of human contact even after Covid! Many doctor’s offices have more virtual appointments than in person. What I am going to agree with you on is people need people! Go in the bank, go through a line with a checker (are they still called that? I am not sure) but for sure go on dates if you’re single! Chicken sandwich for the first date… I vote no unless it is a lunch date. There are plenty of restaurants to go that are not 5 Star and could be an affordable date. But seeing someone interacting with wait staff helps you see who they are in my opinion. Anyway, I teach card classes in senior living facilities every month and they thank me every month for coming to spend time with them. The human race needs human interaction! I read an article in Reader’s Digest years ago, that I will never forget. It was about how solitary confinement was the most detrimental thing to do to a human. Date people, and at least spend time chatting with people when you’re out and about, you never know if that person has anyone to talk to outside of home. Yes, I talk to strangers all the time. Some reciprocate, some are not nice. But in a Bible study class years ago ( I got kicked out for coughing….that is a story) they asked the question what is something every Christian can do to make people feel seen? My answer was smile at them. (Send cards was also a suggestion) One smile can change a person’s day. End of rant. :) I’m smiling at you all!
Well said, Laura.
Never use a self checkout, even if you have to wait. You are not getting paid to do that (no discount) so why should you? Wouldn’t you rather an employee get paid?
You’re right but I feel that maybe it’s only us oldsters who didn’t grow up in the age of electronic babysitters who know that. When I was still in the States, I had friends who had a granddaughter they overly doted on. Her dad worked for one of the large cell companies so this child cut her teeth on a cell phone. She carried it with her everywhere. The thing is, as she got older, even though she was in school, the child either could not or would not engage with other people. She barely did so with her own grandparents. I found that incredibly sad. To my way of thinking, the child was stunted. Communicating with others can be difficult enough for many under normal circumstances. I don’t know how teachers deal with children like this child because I know she’s the rule instead of the exception.
As for me, at age 78, I’ve had to resurrect my high school and college Spanish so I can better communicate and interact with my friends and neighbors where I currently live. Life is so much richer in community. I’m beginning immersive lessons tomorrow and find I’m already getting excited.
You hit the nail on the head with one sentence. Life is better with community.
The best date I ever went on? Back in the 1980’s, there was an article in the local paper with a guy complaining there were no single women in the city. Well being single, couldn’t let that go. So I responded. We met at the local zoo, had a nice few hours and left on good terms. We weren’t compatible but I did prove that the single women were out there. Sometimes I wonder what happened to that guy.
Always thought the substance was more important than the location. And most people can find something to eat at a fast food restaurant, might not be the same at a restaurant. Plus if the date isn’t going anywhere, you can be fed and done in 20 minutes!
I also try to talk to people every day, even if it’s just saying hi as we pass on the street. Never know when that might make a difference in someone’s life.
“However, if you’re still in the dating world, I highly recommend tandem skydiving. You will make an impression.”
Or. Hopefully you WON’T make an impression!
Sorry Bill, just where my mind was when I read that.
Another hit is taking them flying with you as pilot. Just don’t crab it in during the final as it can cause consternation.
good one!!
That made me chuckle!
On the other hand, if you’ve got a crosswind landing to do, you’d better be pretty good at crabbing.
Ha! Great point! But then, that day would also probably be a bad date choice. 🤔
I never went to a Chik-fil-A for YEARS, until one time when I was at an airport. By myself. Never have been back, but I'm not a fan of any fast food places. And btw, I don't consider Pizza Hut a fast food place, but I'm not a fan of theirs, either...
If asked on a date for a fast food place it wouldn't be distasteful due to cost, etc, but because that's not the way I eat, altho my understanding (I haven't been in years) is they now serve salads, right? So that would be fine.
During my dating times while on-line, arrangements were often made to meet at coffee shops so it would be easy to grab something quick & leave if that was the decision, or stay & have more & chat or perhaps go for a walk in the area...
while dating husband, he took me on a surprise date - a helicopter ride above the city. That was definitely a surprise, & fun.
This brought me to thinking about the ongoing debate on remote vs. in-person work. I made a comment on social media one day that remote work killed socialization, collaboration and the start of some amazing friendships. I was LAMBASTED by 20-30 somethings who told me to mind my own business, that they didn't need to make friends at work, that their social lives don't revolve around the work place, and that I should choke and die on my old lady point of view, etc. One woman really let me have it in the rudest of ways (worse than the last comment), so I reminded her that being a keyboard cowboy, calling people names and belittling them anonymously, is the reason she needs in-person work, so she can learn manners and remember what she was taught in Kindergarten, because she clearly forgot how to be a member of society. Her response was not very lady like. 😄
I can't tell you how many of my coworkers met their spouses in the office, or through friends in the office. Todays younger workforce has no idea what they have missed out on by being forced to work remotely. Our current birth rates are proof that being sequestered at home has a ripple effect that reaches far and wide into other areas of our lives. Don't get me started on social skills.
I agree with you that all of our choices today seem to be driving us to alone, versus together. My daughter is in that age group and while she likes working from home, thinks the hybrid version is best for all the reasons you cited. To be invested in work relationships I do think you have to see each other, and get to know each other in person. Online we all behave our best, it’s not realistic. I truly believe the reason so many kids are having mental health issues is related 95% to all their lives being online exclusive.
I am at odds with remote work. If during COVID empoyees were highly praised for pivoting and maintaining productivety at home, why now are those same corporations demanding people return to the office for productivety reasons? I personnally want to be in the office, I need the boundaries, and dare I say space from my spouse. As more people return to the office, let's be real, there is no synergy going on, so trust and let those who want to WFH, WFM! Set up KPIs to assist with trust, but let them WFH. But I do agree with the loneliness WFH folks must ensdure and the human race wasn't made for isolation.
I think my daughter would agree. My husband excels working from home. I have my own business and struggle at times . I need the occasional reminder to get back to work from my husband. I also recently came out of retirement and returned to 911 as they needed qualified people and couldn’t find any. This is a 1-2 year gig tops but it has definitely kept me on my toes with my business.
Bill, your decision to date 100 single women in a year to find your Shangri-la is exactly what I have recommended to many single friends. I have encouraged them to think about dating as a funnel theory. Instead of only allowing one or two people through the smallest part of the funnel, then having to compromise on what you are looking for long term-similar values, beliefs, having fun together, date lots. So many people rule out someone to date even before meeting them. Meet lots of people to find the one who is the best match for you.
I try not to be the pushy mom with my sons, but I might have to forward this to my two oldest sons. #1 has used dating apps with a lot of frustration. #2 had high functioning autism ( like my husband) and is open to dating yet cynical. The are both telecommunications aerial linemen, so they don't have much opportunity through work to meet people.
My daughter made tons of new friends by joining adult volleyball and dodgeball leagues. Do your boys have a talent that could shine in a league?
My husband and I met in our last year of university, so perhaps it made more sense at the time, but our first date was at Peanuts, a cheap (but delicioius) breakfast place, near school, and our second date was at a cheap (but delicioius) Chinese place next to his usual laundry mat. (No, I did not do his laundry, nor did I keep him company while he washed/dried, he tried hard for either, but I didn't budge. Post marriage, laundry has always been his task. I've lost several lovely items to the dryer; but throughout our 40 year relationship, the benefits of him doing laundry have far outweighed the losses!) We both have fond memories of those two cheap places.
I think fast food or inexpensive dates are great for a first date. My husband and I had our first date at Cici's pizza and we've been married over 28 years.