Everybody's a critic

"He was laid-back and blond, a surfer dude in manner if not literal truth, a California kid who believed a double-double burger from In-N-Out was nature’s perfect food..." Also, 7 other things.

Remember Dan Brown’s 2004 mega-bestseller The Da Vinci Code? Here’s the very first sentence:

“Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery.“

Brown’s books have sold more than 200 million copies. Conservatively, he’d pull in $3 per copy. Even post-divorce (long story), he’s probably approaching billionaire territory.

Despite that success (or let’s be honest, probably because of it), Brown’s work has been harshly criticized—HARSHLY—for both the research that went into his novels and his writing ability.

“Brown's writing is not just bad. It is staggeringly, clumsily, thoughtlessly, almost ingeniously bad…” complained one critic who zeroed in on the opening:

His very first sentence, indeed the very first word … told me instantly that I was in for a very bad time. This might be reasonable text for the opening of a newspaper report the next day:

“Renowned curator Jacques Saunière died last night in the Louvre at the age of 76.”

But … it doe…