I need to learn to keep my mouth shut

Don't we all sometimes?

I've had to learn to keep my mouth shut recently. Actually, "re-learn."

So, in the interest of preventing us from wishing wistfully that our mouths had been on Mute, here are 7 times when the sounds of silence are the best sounds of all.

Feel free to share your nominations for the 10th example and so on ...

1. When the other side in a negotiation starts debating against itself.

I like to think of this as The Princess Bride Rule.

Sometimes people get into a spiral of bad negotiating tactics. They wind up outsmarting themselves, making an offer, and then rejecting their own offer because they think you won’t take it.

Often your best move in that situation is to keep your mouth shut and simply stay out of their way.

2. When you’ve asked a question.

We all know these people, right? They ask questions but can’t wait for you to finish so they can offer their own viewpoint. Sometimes they don’t even bother waiting and instead try to hurry you along with verbal cues–“uh-huh, uh-huh, right, right, right…”

If they asked for advice, what they really meant was, “Let’s fast-forward to the part where I tell you what I think, instead.”

Don’t be like them. To paraphrase Yogi Berra, you can observe a lot by watching, and you can also learn a lot by listening.

3. When the other side misunderstands (and you don’t have a duty to talk).

A lawyer once told me about selling a client’s company. The negotiation went much more smoothly than she’d expected, and she realized this was because some whiz-kid M.B.A. on the other side had made a simple math error. That led him to overestimate vastly how much money the acquiring company would likely make after the deal was done.

The lawyer was overcome with apprehension until she realized the right thing to say: nothing at all.

That way, she wouldn’t be breaching her duty not to misrepresent facts to the buyer, but she also wouldn’t do anything to scuttle her client’s deal. The moral of the story is that you don’t always have an obligation to correct someone else’s mistakes.

4. When you don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.

Silence is awkward. As a result, people often rush to fill it. I used to use this tendency to my advantage when I was a trial attorney taking depositions in civil cases. Sometimes, I’d ask a witness an open-ended question, and even though the witness’s tone of voice suggested he’d finished his answer, I’d just continue to wait expectantly, as if anybody with half a clue would understand he had to keep it coming.

Sometimes, the witness would keep going and dig a bigger hole.

You never have to fill a silence, especially when you don’t have anything useful to fill it with. (In those cases, it’s true: Everything you say may well in fact be used against you.)

5. When you need someone else to get the credit.

As President Harry S. Truman once said, you can accomplish just about anything if you don’t care who gets the credit. Sometimes, that means staying quiet just long enough for someone else to think of your solution and propose it as his or her own.

6. When you want someone else to grow.

This is similar to when you want someone else to get credit for a good idea.

If you have a second grader in your family, chances are you could do her homework for her without much effort. But what would be the point? You want her to learn and grow, which means she has to be the one to come to conclusions on her own.

The same thing is true in many other circumstances. Instead of leaping forward to answer a thoughtful question that you know the answer to, sometimes it makes sense to hold back and let others figure it out.

7. When you are worried you might be boring people.

Look, I enjoy telling stories. But sometimes I admit I can go on and on a bit ...

I suppose that could theoretically translate to writing as well. So, maybe stop -- and leave the audience wanting more.

Let's see if that works.

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I feel like this newsletter is going to be good fodder for people to come up with some very good "that other guy really should have stopped talking" stories. Share away in the comments!

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7 other things worth knowing today

• The Trump Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its War Plans: U.S. national-security leaders included me in a group chat about upcoming military strikes in Yemen. I didn’t think it could be real. Then the bombs started falling. (The Atlantic / Gift Link)

• 23andMe has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection and its co-founder and CEO has resigned as the struggling genetic testing company continues its push to cut costs. Wojcicki says she intends to bid on 23andMe herself as the company pursues a sale through the bankruptcy process. If you have DNA or other data on 23andMe, the California attorney general put together a quick tutorial on how to delete it. (AP, California AG)

• President Trump on Friday announced that federal student loan management will move to the Small Business Administration. This was the same day that the agency tasked with serving the country’s entrepreneurs announced that it was slashing its headcount by 43 percent. (Inc.com)

• Apple says it's willing to lose $1 billion every year to fuel its streaming ambitions. Unlike other competitors, the Apple TV's small library focuses almost exclusively on original content like Severance and Ted Lasso. (Fortune)

• The Trump administration has nearly doubled egg imports from Brazil in an effort to bring down the cost of the key grocery item amid a severe domestic shortage caused by a devastating bird flu outbreak. Federal officials are also considering relaxing regulations for eggs laid by chickens raised for meat to combat the sky-high prices. (New York Post)

• Box Office: How ‘Snow White’ Landed in Potential Bomb Territory. Disney's tentpole opened to near-disastrous numbers considering its mega-budget. Is there still a chance for a fairy tale ending? (Hollywood Reporter)

• In honor of Opening day: Inside ‘Inside Baseball.’ How America’s Pastime Invented a Handy Metaphor. (Mental Floss)

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Thanks for reading. Photo by @felipepelaquim on Unsplash. I wrote about some of this before at Inc.com. See you in the comments!