no comment, well, not yet anyway, about your article today, except I've heard that before, if you choose not to decide, you've made a choice... what I do want to say is thinking about an article you've recently posted about talking to folks. Randomly having short conversations w/ strangers. Yesterday this happened to/for me. I went to Costco & I arrived a bit before they opened, & the spot I usually like to park in, 'cause it's right next to the cart drop off, was taken by a couple who had just arrived & getting their young child out. I waited to pull in next to them - there weren't any other cars that I would bother. I was behind them before the doors opened, so we had about 10 minutes to talk, which he started by saying, "I like your car." I smiled and said, "I do too." He said, "How fast does it go?" I said, "I haven't found out, but it gets going fast, quickly & they call it a race car w/ a license plate." I told him it's the first new car I've had in 37 or so yrs & I got it for the safety features & described what the salesman had me do on the test drive. Then we talked about kid stuff, lots of kid stuff. The little girl w/ them was about 3 & had huge brown eyes & was staring at me the whole time. I'd give her a quick wink & continue talking to her mom & dad. She smiled back at one point. They also have a 4 yr old in preK. As the door opened, he said, "It was fun talk'n to ya." I said, "It was fun talk'n to y'all, too." Not that it matters, but they were a different race.
I do that as well, often have conversations with random people in the grocery store. Our town has a lot of seniors. I am betting that sometimes I am the only person who recognized them that day. I usually acknowledge people living on the street as well, sometimes I wonder about their story but am not nosy enough to ask.
ok, so the talk that happened started because of my car. I have a nice car, but that's not the point, except for the fact it's the first new car I've had for so many years. I've had several used cars in my driving years, now that I'm 76 yrs old. I've driven several of those for over 150,000 miles. One for over 250,000 after the odometer broke. But no one asked what else we talked about, which involved lots of kid stuff. Like his mom had 11 siblings. And how many he & his wife have. And how none of them depended on the conveniences of what parents have now. No tv, no phone, computers, etc. I had tv when raising my kids but never plopped them in front of it. They got a chuckle out of my story of a friend of mine who had 3 girls the same ages of my 3 boys, when they were young... she said I'd be down on the floor making car noises, going "zoom, zoom" (& I made those noises & the little girl grinned), while my friend was w/ her 3 girls & their dolls making dolls talk. Their parting words of "It was fun talk'n to ya" I think had more to do w/ kid stuff than the car stuff.
And sometimes by not choosing a new path, you realize you're already doing what you were meant to do. Or maybe that's just me, 20 years into a career and still unsure if it was the right one because it wasn't the one I envisioned growing up. It was! I just didn't feel it yet. Once I did, the pieces all fit and happiness was mine.
Your newsletter today reminded me of a quote I’ve seen attributed to Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right!”
You are always finding research studies that reveal something important or verify something we think but hadn’t yet proved. Have you run across any scientific research that would verify this quote?
Going to see Rush in CA in October. Haven't missed one of their tours in a long time, never know when it could be the last, and already thought it was when Neil passed away. I am the exact demo you noted, and I am currently making the decision to take action and enjoy instead of letting uncertainty keep me from experiencing life. Most, but not all, decisions are not irrevocable, so I choose to say yes to experiences until something gets in the way. Can't wait to hear Tom Sawyer, YYZ, Red Barchetta, Limelight, 2112, and Freewill - which is a perfect ending to this story!
When I left working full time in the TV industry I wanted to keep my toes in the water but find a regular 9-5, or similar, and stop working weekends, overnights and holidays. I went to a career fair in the financial industry hoping to find someone responsible for the CCTV at one of the big firms but, instead, found someone who would become my boss in an industry I knew nothing about.
He was not supposed to be there. He never exhibited at those things but, upon circling the fair a fourth time and asking yet another round of questions about what his company does, he refused to answer me until I gave him my resume. 2 weeks later he called me for an interview. It was for a job I've never done and I had my concerns. The following week I went in. I spent 2 hours with him, his VP and a few other executives. They called me back 2 days after that and I spent another 3 hours with sales people and technicians. The next day I was offered the job.
I never would have looked for a job in this industry, I didn't even know it existed. 22 years later here I am.
Hey Bill - as always, love your work. Especially enjoyed this post and references to Rush (I'm a huge fan) and the line from Free Will ... I quote this line frequently in my work with clients. The Admired Leadership group (publish daily "Field Notes") published a message today focused on the importance of creating decision screens that when thought through proactively, can help us process in-the-moment choices more intuitively, with less need for having all the information we might otherwise think is necessary to make a good decision. Can thus help us escape the trappings of analysis paralysis. To your point, sometimes we simply need to take a step that seems reasonable and live into the path that emerges before us, adapting as we go. Thanks for continuing to be a bright light in my day - I always look forward to your posts!
I never did decide what career I should follow. Took secretarial training back when they still called it that, kept me employed for my career, including a year abroad and life in two different provinces. Was it my “chosen” career? No, but it put food on the table. Same with my second husband. We met when I was in Grade 9. He told his mom he was going to marry me, whereas he was just a blip on my radar. In 1986, I made the decision not to go out and visit him, but stayed where I lived and went to a ball game. That decision led to two kids, a failed marriage and a lot of personal growth. Did eventually come to my senses and married husband #2 25 years after we first met.
As someone else has said, even not making a decision is a decision. A lot of times, we don’t know if a decision was the right one for months. The end result is not always visible in the short term. So make a choice, run with it, don’t get paralyzed about making a choice. Nothing but death is final; if you choose wrong, just make a different choice.
The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.
About Rush, I have tried to read Geddy Lee’s memoir but lost interest about half way through. They are certainly a Canadian treasure. I think their current tour ends in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Bill, you got lucky I’m thinking. I think I can say and be fairly certain about it when I say that making decisions to do something or not to do something tend to work it somewhat better than just falling into life and letting it happen to you. Call that deciding not to decide or whatever. At least my decision to just let things happen didn’t work out all that well in the long run. My decisions under those circumstances tended to be self destructive and they impacted not just me but others. As I matured and got out on my own, my decision making got sharper and with more intention behind them. Maybe age and experience help after all? Twenty years later Bill, you two were different people when you met again but the best parts of you both were still there for you each to see better.
They played in the gym and belted out songs from what turned out to be their first album. Maybe 100 people. Watched them set up and take down their equipment. I wish I had a picture of Neil Pearts drum kit...so basic as opposed to what he created to become a great drummer. Geddy Lee wore a Blue Jays jersey.He was a big baseball fan and that was the first year for Toronto in the. MLB (along with Seattle).
no comment, well, not yet anyway, about your article today, except I've heard that before, if you choose not to decide, you've made a choice... what I do want to say is thinking about an article you've recently posted about talking to folks. Randomly having short conversations w/ strangers. Yesterday this happened to/for me. I went to Costco & I arrived a bit before they opened, & the spot I usually like to park in, 'cause it's right next to the cart drop off, was taken by a couple who had just arrived & getting their young child out. I waited to pull in next to them - there weren't any other cars that I would bother. I was behind them before the doors opened, so we had about 10 minutes to talk, which he started by saying, "I like your car." I smiled and said, "I do too." He said, "How fast does it go?" I said, "I haven't found out, but it gets going fast, quickly & they call it a race car w/ a license plate." I told him it's the first new car I've had in 37 or so yrs & I got it for the safety features & described what the salesman had me do on the test drive. Then we talked about kid stuff, lots of kid stuff. The little girl w/ them was about 3 & had huge brown eyes & was staring at me the whole time. I'd give her a quick wink & continue talking to her mom & dad. She smiled back at one point. They also have a 4 yr old in preK. As the door opened, he said, "It was fun talk'n to ya." I said, "It was fun talk'n to y'all, too." Not that it matters, but they were a different race.
What is your car?
read my reply to myself
I do that as well, often have conversations with random people in the grocery store. Our town has a lot of seniors. I am betting that sometimes I am the only person who recognized them that day. I usually acknowledge people living on the street as well, sometimes I wonder about their story but am not nosy enough to ask.
What kind of car do you have anyway??
read my reply to myself
ok, so the talk that happened started because of my car. I have a nice car, but that's not the point, except for the fact it's the first new car I've had for so many years. I've had several used cars in my driving years, now that I'm 76 yrs old. I've driven several of those for over 150,000 miles. One for over 250,000 after the odometer broke. But no one asked what else we talked about, which involved lots of kid stuff. Like his mom had 11 siblings. And how many he & his wife have. And how none of them depended on the conveniences of what parents have now. No tv, no phone, computers, etc. I had tv when raising my kids but never plopped them in front of it. They got a chuckle out of my story of a friend of mine who had 3 girls the same ages of my 3 boys, when they were young... she said I'd be down on the floor making car noises, going "zoom, zoom" (& I made those noises & the little girl grinned), while my friend was w/ her 3 girls & their dolls making dolls talk. Their parting words of "It was fun talk'n to ya" I think had more to do w/ kid stuff than the car stuff.
And sometimes by not choosing a new path, you realize you're already doing what you were meant to do. Or maybe that's just me, 20 years into a career and still unsure if it was the right one because it wasn't the one I envisioned growing up. It was! I just didn't feel it yet. Once I did, the pieces all fit and happiness was mine.
Your newsletter today reminded me of a quote I’ve seen attributed to Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right!”
You are always finding research studies that reveal something important or verify something we think but hadn’t yet proved. Have you run across any scientific research that would verify this quote?
In 1977 Rush played at my high school in Toronto (East York collegiate) and I chose to attend. That was a good choice!
Dude…that must have been outstanding!
Apparently I was born too soon to be a Rush fan. Such is life
It is never too late to begin!
Going to see Rush in CA in October. Haven't missed one of their tours in a long time, never know when it could be the last, and already thought it was when Neil passed away. I am the exact demo you noted, and I am currently making the decision to take action and enjoy instead of letting uncertainty keep me from experiencing life. Most, but not all, decisions are not irrevocable, so I choose to say yes to experiences until something gets in the way. Can't wait to hear Tom Sawyer, YYZ, Red Barchetta, Limelight, 2112, and Freewill - which is a perfect ending to this story!
When I left working full time in the TV industry I wanted to keep my toes in the water but find a regular 9-5, or similar, and stop working weekends, overnights and holidays. I went to a career fair in the financial industry hoping to find someone responsible for the CCTV at one of the big firms but, instead, found someone who would become my boss in an industry I knew nothing about.
He was not supposed to be there. He never exhibited at those things but, upon circling the fair a fourth time and asking yet another round of questions about what his company does, he refused to answer me until I gave him my resume. 2 weeks later he called me for an interview. It was for a job I've never done and I had my concerns. The following week I went in. I spent 2 hours with him, his VP and a few other executives. They called me back 2 days after that and I spent another 3 hours with sales people and technicians. The next day I was offered the job.
I never would have looked for a job in this industry, I didn't even know it existed. 22 years later here I am.
And I love my job.
Hey Bill - as always, love your work. Especially enjoyed this post and references to Rush (I'm a huge fan) and the line from Free Will ... I quote this line frequently in my work with clients. The Admired Leadership group (publish daily "Field Notes") published a message today focused on the importance of creating decision screens that when thought through proactively, can help us process in-the-moment choices more intuitively, with less need for having all the information we might otherwise think is necessary to make a good decision. Can thus help us escape the trappings of analysis paralysis. To your point, sometimes we simply need to take a step that seems reasonable and live into the path that emerges before us, adapting as we go. Thanks for continuing to be a bright light in my day - I always look forward to your posts!
I never did decide what career I should follow. Took secretarial training back when they still called it that, kept me employed for my career, including a year abroad and life in two different provinces. Was it my “chosen” career? No, but it put food on the table. Same with my second husband. We met when I was in Grade 9. He told his mom he was going to marry me, whereas he was just a blip on my radar. In 1986, I made the decision not to go out and visit him, but stayed where I lived and went to a ball game. That decision led to two kids, a failed marriage and a lot of personal growth. Did eventually come to my senses and married husband #2 25 years after we first met.
As someone else has said, even not making a decision is a decision. A lot of times, we don’t know if a decision was the right one for months. The end result is not always visible in the short term. So make a choice, run with it, don’t get paralyzed about making a choice. Nothing but death is final; if you choose wrong, just make a different choice.
The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.
- Barbara Hall, Northern Exposure
About Rush, I have tried to read Geddy Lee’s memoir but lost interest about half way through. They are certainly a Canadian treasure. I think their current tour ends in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Bill, you got lucky I’m thinking. I think I can say and be fairly certain about it when I say that making decisions to do something or not to do something tend to work it somewhat better than just falling into life and letting it happen to you. Call that deciding not to decide or whatever. At least my decision to just let things happen didn’t work out all that well in the long run. My decisions under those circumstances tended to be self destructive and they impacted not just me but others. As I matured and got out on my own, my decision making got sharper and with more intention behind them. Maybe age and experience help after all? Twenty years later Bill, you two were different people when you met again but the best parts of you both were still there for you each to see better.
They played in the gym and belted out songs from what turned out to be their first album. Maybe 100 people. Watched them set up and take down their equipment. I wish I had a picture of Neil Pearts drum kit...so basic as opposed to what he created to become a great drummer. Geddy Lee wore a Blue Jays jersey.He was a big baseball fan and that was the first year for Toronto in the. MLB (along with Seattle).