I got one of those “here’s a photo you shared on social media years ago” notifications, and it a photo of a moving truck — the day we moved to our house in New Jersey.
It’s funny how time flies. I’m the kind of person who takes a while to settle and admit that I actually live where I do, long-term. But knocking on the door of a decade, I think this counts.
As much as I sometimes like to imagine my wife and daughter and me taking a giant map of the world and figuring out a new place to live for a while (truly, just give me a beach!), I think the odds are very good that we’ll stay put here a while longer.
We chose our town for a reason: basically that everything we read, saw and experienced told us that it would be a good place to raise a child.
Now, I’m going to turn this newsletter over to all of you in a moment. Because the vast majority of my readers are parents, and I suspect you’ll have some thoughts on this.
But, there’s a study that I read about — gosh, back when we were looking for a place to live — that’s stuck with me, and it probably influenced our choices.
Entitled, “Inequality in Children’s Contexts: Income Segregation of Households With and Without Children,” it ran in the journal, American Sociological Review.
To summarize, just in case you forgot to renew your subscription to American Sociological Review, the study covered choices that wealthy families make in order to benefit their children—-given that theoretically, they could afford to make any choices they want.
The study was framed in a negative light: look how inequitable our society is, and what all these wealthy people are doing to benefit from it.
I read it, nodded my head in pained agreement — and then thought to myself:
“You know, as long as we’re here … um, exactly what are these big choices that wealthy families make? Anything I should try to copy?”
The number-one, most far-reaching conclusion in the study was simple: The wealthiest people make sure to live within the same neighborhoods as other wealthy people.
This has significant ramifications. For one thing, since schools in the U.S. are generally funded on a local level, the kids in the neighborhoods of the better-to-do have access to the best public education money can buy.
Ann Owens, a sociologist at the University of Southern California and an author of the study, told The Washington Post:
“Buying a neighborhood is probably one of the most important things you can do for your kid. There’s mixed evidence on whether buying all this other stuff matters too. But buying a neighborhood basically provides huge advantages.”
Granted, this touches on much bigger questions about what kind of society we want to live in, at large.
And, there’s no way a thinking person can write about this and not mention that years of racial segregation, redlining, and many other less-enviable parts of our collective history might have something to do with how some neighborhoods became wealthy in the first place.
But, if you’re making decisions on the basis of what’s best for your children, it’s hard not to at least pay attention to how the people who could decide to live anywhere, choose to make their homes.
In short, the study also seems to suggest: If you’re not living in the smallest house in your neighborhood, maybe you should consider a smaller house in a nicer neighborhood.
So now I turn it over to you. Did you choose where you live for this kind of reason? Or another? What advice to you have for others — especially young parents, just putting down roots? Please, let us know in the comments.
Other things worth knowing …
NYT: President Trump will be joined in China this week by 16 chief executives, including Elon Musk and Tim Cook. The White House distributed a list on Monday of business leaders who are scheduled to be in Beijing with the president. Mr. Trump is slated to depart Washington on Tuesday and hold meetings with Xi Jinping, China’s leader, later in the week.
AP, WSJ: President Trump on odds of ending the Iran War after the latest Iranian proposal: “I would call it the weakest right now after reading that piece of garbage they sent us. I didn’t even finish reading it.” Trump also proposed suspending the federal gas tax and reducing tariffs on imported beef, to deal with war-related price increases.
Newsweek: Years of preparations and the promise of a multibillion-dollar economic boost were supposed to make the 2026 FIFA World Cup a summer-long victory lap for the United States. But with only a month until kick-off, hotels remain under-booked, tickets unsold, and travelers unconvinced, leaving the world’s most-watched sporting event at risk of falling short of its most ambitious expectations.
NBC News: Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy is defending his family’s new reality show amid a backlash, as critics say the idea of doing a road-trip show over the course of seven months “out of touch” when gas prices are soaring amid the U.S. war with Iran. (One commenter quoted: “Read the room, Mark and Marie Antoinette.”)
Washington Post: About 25% Americans think the April shooting at the White House correspondents’ dinner was staged, compared to 45% who are confident that it actually happened, according to a new survey. Survey respondents between the ages of 18 and 29 were also more likely than older people to think the incident was staged, according to the report.
The Guardian: Artwork looted by the Nazis has resurfaced in the home of descendants of a notorious Dutch SS collaborator. Portrait of a Young Girl, by the Dutch artist Toon Kelder, is believed to have hung for decades in the home, art detective Arthur Brand said, describing it as “the most bizarre case of my entire career.”
Wired: I Tried the Best Captioning Smart Glasses, and Only One Leads the Pack: Can’t hear what they’re saying? Now you can turn on the subtitles for real-life conversations.
Thanks for reading. Photo by Eugene Kucheruk on Unsplash. I wrote about some of this before at Inc.com. See you in the comments.
I commuted to this state everyday for 3 years (45 minutes in/ 2.5 hours home), then my husband was transferred here so we moved. Our initial plan was to pick a nice town between both jobs, which were 90 minutes apart. We settled about 35 minutes from his job and 55 minutes from mine, because we fell in love the town. Lots of restaurants within walking distance, close to NYC and easy to hop on any one of the main roads that would get us back to see our families without jumping through hoops (unless you count the BQE and Belt Parkway as major hoops). When it came time to start thinking about kids, we started looking at school districts, property (back yards) and family neighborhoods. We've moved twice since that initial landing but settled in the home we have now for the last 21 years. We are now looking at the next phase of our lives and our goal is to get out of NJ and move where I can sit on my deck and look at the water; and where my husband can golf...often and year-round. It won't be Florida. We do have an estimate of what we want to pay for our next (last) home and we're not shy or worried about what others may think. We have worked hard for the last 35-40 years and sacked enough away to be able to choose who we want our neighbors to be. I don't want young kids living next door (been there, done that). I don't want people with cars up on cinder blocks. I don't want a single demographic so we look like the Stepford Wives. But I've earned the right to choose the criteria for my new neighborhood. If some think that's a negative, that's their problem, not mine. We were raised in lower middle class families and worked hard. If someone wants to write an article about my 'privilege' they won't find any.
Maybe some of your best writing:
To summarize, just in case you forgot to renew your subscription to American Sociological Review,