A few weeks ago my daughter and I were driving from New Jersey to Boston to visit family, and we talked about where to stop for food.
“Five Guys!” she suggested. “I’ve been hoping all week that we could go to Five Guys!”
This presented a little problem. I’m normally all for Five Guys on a road trip, but this was a Friday evening in the middle of Lent, when Catholics aren’t supposed to eat meat.
Now, I could probably write a book on my lifelong relationship with the institution of the Catholic church.
But does the world really need that?
For our purposes, let’s just say that one good reason why a 50-something dad might try to show respect and practice the religion he was born into might be so that his daughter will have had the experience of seeing him do it, and be better able to make her own choices later.
Also, wasn’t there something about not having to follow the no-meat rule when you’re traveling? Maybe?
We went to Five Guys, and I felt a little of the ol’ Catholic guilt. But then something happened that made me feel better.
I noticed a woman sitting alone, off to the side, hunched over, with 3 or 4 fully packed bags stuffed under the table.
As we walked by on the way out, I realized she didn’t have any food—just the free peanuts that Five Guys offers while you’re waiting.
So I used a trick my grandfather used to do, only adjusted for inflation.
I took a $20 bill from my pocket, folded it, walked up to her, and said: “I think you dropped this. Maybe you can get some dinner.”
Then I walked away quickly, and my brain did what it always does: it started overthinking everything.
Was that the right way to do it? Did I make her feel seen, or singled out? Did the whole “you dropped this” line actually preserve her dignity, or was that just something I told myself?
Now, writing this, there’s a second layer: does telling the story turn it into something else entirely—like I’m trying to prove I’m a good guy?
Welcome to my world. I don’t have clean answers to any of this.
What I do know is this: if I hadn’t broken the no-meat rule, I wouldn’t have been there at all.
And my daughter wouldn’t have seen me try.
I wrote this for a few reasons.
First, because it’s one of those little vignettes that happens to me now and then, and I realize that if I don’t write it down someplace like here I’ll forget it. Like the time a little girl might have been hit by a car if our refrigerator hadn’t broken the week before.
Second, because I actually wrote a shorter version of this as the opening to an Inc.com article about fast food getting too expensive for some customers. I think it works better here on its own.
But finally, because it’s a real-life version of one of the best rules I learned about storytelling way back when.
Great things can happen when you break the rules. But first, you have to know them.
Other things worth knowing …
Pam Bondi is refusing to testify about her handling of the Epstein files despite a subpoena to appear before Congress, on the grounds she is no longer attorney general. So, I guess we’ll never know what happened. (Axios)
Top-ranked podcaster Joe Rogan claimed Wednesday that President Trump launched the war in Iran to distract Americans from the Epstein files. “Look, the Epstein Files comes out — we go to war with Iran. It’s a good way to get people to stop talking about certain things,” Rogan said. “You give them a new problem to think about.” (Mediate)
Iran is demanding that shipping companies pay tolls in cryptocurrency for oil tankers passing through the Strait of Hormuz, as it seeks to retain control over passage. “Everything can pass through, but the procedure will take time for each vessel, and Iran is not in a rush,” Hamid Hosseini, a spokesperson for Iran’s Oil, Gas and Petrochemical Products Exporters’ Union, told the FT. (The Financial Times)
President Trump is talking about quitting NATO. White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt: ‘I have a direct quote from the President of the United States … and I will share it with all of you: “They were tested and they failed ... And I would add, it’s quite sad that NATO turned their backs on the American people.” (Daily Mail)
I don’t think I even mentioned Zohran Mamdani more than once or twice in the past year, but this surprised me: Around half of New Yorkers approve of Mayor Mamdani’s job performance as he approaches his 100th day in office, and a clear majority believe the city is headed in the right direction. The survey, conducted by the Marist Institute for Public Opinion, is the first high-quality, nonpartisan poll to capture New Yorkers’ views of Mr. Mamdani, 34, since he took office on Jan. 1.
On July 8, 1989, a young music fan named Aadam Jacobs, with a compact Sony cassette recorder in his pocket, went to see an up-and-coming rock band: “Hello, we’re Nirvana. We’re from Seattle.” Jacobs went on to record more than 10,000 concerts, with increasingly sophisticated equipment, over four decades. Now a group of devoted volunteers in the U.S. and Europe is methodically cataloging, digitizing and uploading them one by one. (AP)
Thanks for reading. Photo by Stefano Romanello on Unsplash. See you in the comments.
Before I lost my faith, I used to think about the no meat thing when it rolled around every year. I always thought god would rather you be a good person than a jerk who didn't eat meat on Friday.
As to the $20. You don't need to write about it to remember it. You really don't need to remember it all all. All you need to remember is you're in a fortunate position to give a hand up when someone needs help. Whether it's $20 or cutting the grass for an elderly neighbor.
I'm guessing St. Peter has a special dispensation clause for violating the no meat rule given your act of kindness toward a needy person. Remember the old George Carlson line about getting to eat meal on Friday for being the parish with largest donation to the scrap iron drive.