Say this, not that

Want to help me write a book? Also, 7 other things worth your time.

Today, I’m going to talk about words and phrases, and then ask for your help.

I used to work for the company that ran the Scary Mommy website. We ran an article once by Leigh Anderson, in which she proposed banning the phrase “Can’t you just…” from parenting conversations.

Imagine: A mom or dad (probably a mom; this was Scary Mommy after all) is venting about how it’s hard to find time to prepare home-cooked meals every day, or how she wishes her kids watched less TV, or any of a million other common parenting gripes.

A well-meaning friend chimes in:

• “Can’t you just … cook the meals on the weekend, then freeze them and heat them during the week?”

• “Can’t you just … set out some crayons? That’ll keep them busy for a bit.”

• “Can’t you just … put the baby in a stroller and come visit us?”

It’s a small thing, Anderson conceded, but starting out with these three words signals to the other person that you don’t think their concerns are at all valid. And that, intentionally or not, cuts off any cons…