I’m “Team You’re Welcome” for sure! I’ve had multiple conversations with my young adult children why I prefer “You’re welcome” to “No problem.”
I liked #8--I often really do only have just a minute when I see someone at the post office or grocery store or on a walk around town. It’s a great way to show them I care about speaking to them but also protect my time.
Interestingly, if someone says "My Pleasure" with a smile these days, there's a fairly high probability that they worked at Chick-Fil-A at some point. It's always fun at a restaurant when the server says, "My Pleasure", we smile at them and ask, "Did you used to work at Chick-Fil-A?" Probably 40% of the time the response is, "Yes! How did you know?" Just a fun little tidbit back at ya'.
I really appreciated this article and how it promotes positive vibes in small talk. I’m happy that my kids use “you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” instead of “no problem”; and no we didn’t work for Chik-fill-a or Ritz Carlton.
I think you're going to find this interesting. I am getting better about writing the essay part of the newsletter a day or two or more ahead of time many days. So that means that I sometimes I get up in the a.m. and have to think: "Wait, what did I write for today?"
This morning I drove my daughter to school and called my parents on the way home. My dad kept using the phrases on me ... "I only have a minute, but ... " ... "Can I get your opinion on something?" ... "I took your advice on ..."
We were talking for 5 minutes before I realized he was quoting my own essay back to me!
I will keep this email handy this weekend when attending my great grandfather's 100th birthday celebration. Lots of extended family attending and a lot of anxiety at the likely discomfort that some interactions will bring (maybe I'll be using 'disagree and commit' quite a bit...).
This, right here, is liquid gold. It’s a gift to me, and I’m so grateful. Wow. Where was this list 35 years ago, when it could have changed the trajectory of my entire adult life? Who knows. Who cares. I’ll memorize it and use it now, and change my life anyway. Lol
I always felt awkward at parties u til a friend shared her secret. Being a thru and thru Yankees fan she asks “What do you think of the Yankees?” She shared that any answer is a starting point for conversation
Now I pick 3 topics and think of several things I could say about each before going to a party. I change topics to fit the party. If topic one only solicited a non conversation with someone, go on to topic #2
I adjust 12 to be “Please say that in another way.” Mostly since I have a tendency to respond incorrectly and this helps me be sure I understand the other person.
Also, I’ve been noticing lately the absence of “You’re welcome” and “My pleasure” so thanks for that. I’ll endeavor to choose one of those versus “Sure” in the future.
Other than 7 and 12, none of these are small talk questions or openers. Several are closed questions or comments and disclaimers. Disclaimers are rarely effective (with exceptions). Here is a good site for small talk questions. Remember generally people like to talk about themselves. Show that you are interested to get to know them, use good open body language. Good luck. https://www.themuse.com/advice/48-questions-thatll-make-awkward-small-talk-so-much-easier
I’m “Team You’re Welcome” for sure! I’ve had multiple conversations with my young adult children why I prefer “You’re welcome” to “No problem.”
I liked #8--I often really do only have just a minute when I see someone at the post office or grocery store or on a walk around town. It’s a great way to show them I care about speaking to them but also protect my time.
These are all great but question #1 implies that you may be less than honest otherwise. I prefer to rephrase as “May I be candid with you?”
Bill! I love you man but maybe, perhaps, post a link to someone’s Substack instead of just the elite media? A polite request!
Interestingly, if someone says "My Pleasure" with a smile these days, there's a fairly high probability that they worked at Chick-Fil-A at some point. It's always fun at a restaurant when the server says, "My Pleasure", we smile at them and ask, "Did you used to work at Chick-Fil-A?" Probably 40% of the time the response is, "Yes! How did you know?" Just a fun little tidbit back at ya'.
Your first, can I be honest, has always triggered my reaction (not verbal) " so you haven't been up to now"
Amazing ideas
Definitely agree on you’re welcome
I really appreciated this article and how it promotes positive vibes in small talk. I’m happy that my kids use “you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” instead of “no problem”; and no we didn’t work for Chik-fill-a or Ritz Carlton.
I think you're going to find this interesting. I am getting better about writing the essay part of the newsletter a day or two or more ahead of time many days. So that means that I sometimes I get up in the a.m. and have to think: "Wait, what did I write for today?"
This morning I drove my daughter to school and called my parents on the way home. My dad kept using the phrases on me ... "I only have a minute, but ... " ... "Can I get your opinion on something?" ... "I took your advice on ..."
We were talking for 5 minutes before I realized he was quoting my own essay back to me!
I will keep this email handy this weekend when attending my great grandfather's 100th birthday celebration. Lots of extended family attending and a lot of anxiety at the likely discomfort that some interactions will bring (maybe I'll be using 'disagree and commit' quite a bit...).
This, right here, is liquid gold. It’s a gift to me, and I’m so grateful. Wow. Where was this list 35 years ago, when it could have changed the trajectory of my entire adult life? Who knows. Who cares. I’ll memorize it and use it now, and change my life anyway. Lol
Simply awesome. Thank you, Bill.
I always felt awkward at parties u til a friend shared her secret. Being a thru and thru Yankees fan she asks “What do you think of the Yankees?” She shared that any answer is a starting point for conversation
Now I pick 3 topics and think of several things I could say about each before going to a party. I change topics to fit the party. If topic one only solicited a non conversation with someone, go on to topic #2
Works wonderfully!
Love, love, love these although I don't like #1. Thanks Bill!
I adjust 12 to be “Please say that in another way.” Mostly since I have a tendency to respond incorrectly and this helps me be sure I understand the other person.
Also, I’ve been noticing lately the absence of “You’re welcome” and “My pleasure” so thanks for that. I’ll endeavor to choose one of those versus “Sure” in the future.
Other than 7 and 12, none of these are small talk questions or openers. Several are closed questions or comments and disclaimers. Disclaimers are rarely effective (with exceptions). Here is a good site for small talk questions. Remember generally people like to talk about themselves. Show that you are interested to get to know them, use good open body language. Good luck. https://www.themuse.com/advice/48-questions-thatll-make-awkward-small-talk-so-much-easier
It won’t let me subscribe.😔