I’m “Team You’re Welcome” for sure! I’ve had multiple conversations with my young adult children why I prefer “You’re welcome” to “No problem.”
I liked #8--I often really do only have just a minute when I see someone at the post office or grocery store or on a walk around town. It’s a great way to show them I care about speaking to them but also protect my time.
On the retirement article. I encourage my clients who are going to retire to retire TO something, rather than FROM something. I try to get them started about a year earlier than they retire. Those that followed my advice had a smooth transition. Those that didn’t usually got sick.
I second Darrell’s comment. I realize I have to consider the source, but I prefer recognized media, rather than being directed to someone’s Substack.
If it all has the potential to be a rabbit hole with potential untruths, I’d rather spend my time reading things that are knowingly vetted by higher numbers of people.
all sources are biased. All truth claims are debatable. You're artificially limitng your perspective on the world for no reason. Besides, Substack is full of former 'elite' outlet journalists as well as academics and otherwise very knowledgeable folks. You need to explore before you make snap judgments like these. it sounds to me like you just don't want to do the work of filtering the publications here. your loss
It’s not a snap judgement and I feel my worldview is quite flexible.
I spent my 40 year career in the newspaper business so I have some perspective. I’ve also seen some “elite journalists” I know shift sideways a bit. At this point, it’s enough to wade through media that uses editors and corroboration from multiple sources. Even though I am retired I am quite busy and don’t need those potential “rabbit holes” as Glenn called them.
That’s me and I also respect how you view the issue.
Interestingly, if someone says "My Pleasure" with a smile these days, there's a fairly high probability that they worked at Chick-Fil-A at some point. It's always fun at a restaurant when the server says, "My Pleasure", we smile at them and ask, "Did you used to work at Chick-Fil-A?" Probably 40% of the time the response is, "Yes! How did you know?" Just a fun little tidbit back at ya'.
I really appreciated this article and how it promotes positive vibes in small talk. I’m happy that my kids use “you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” instead of “no problem”; and no we didn’t work for Chik-fill-a or Ritz Carlton.
I think you're going to find this interesting. I am getting better about writing the essay part of the newsletter a day or two or more ahead of time many days. So that means that I sometimes I get up in the a.m. and have to think: "Wait, what did I write for today?"
This morning I drove my daughter to school and called my parents on the way home. My dad kept using the phrases on me ... "I only have a minute, but ... " ... "Can I get your opinion on something?" ... "I took your advice on ..."
We were talking for 5 minutes before I realized he was quoting my own essay back to me!
I will keep this email handy this weekend when attending my great grandfather's 100th birthday celebration. Lots of extended family attending and a lot of anxiety at the likely discomfort that some interactions will bring (maybe I'll be using 'disagree and commit' quite a bit...).
This, right here, is liquid gold. It’s a gift to me, and I’m so grateful. Wow. Where was this list 35 years ago, when it could have changed the trajectory of my entire adult life? Who knows. Who cares. I’ll memorize it and use it now, and change my life anyway. Lol
I always felt awkward at parties u til a friend shared her secret. Being a thru and thru Yankees fan she asks “What do you think of the Yankees?” She shared that any answer is a starting point for conversation
Now I pick 3 topics and think of several things I could say about each before going to a party. I change topics to fit the party. If topic one only solicited a non conversation with someone, go on to topic #2
I adjust 12 to be “Please say that in another way.” Mostly since I have a tendency to respond incorrectly and this helps me be sure I understand the other person.
Also, I’ve been noticing lately the absence of “You’re welcome” and “My pleasure” so thanks for that. I’ll endeavor to choose one of those versus “Sure” in the future.
Other than 7 and 12, none of these are small talk questions or openers. Several are closed questions or comments and disclaimers. Disclaimers are rarely effective (with exceptions). Here is a good site for small talk questions. Remember generally people like to talk about themselves. Show that you are interested to get to know them, use good open body language. Good luck. https://www.themuse.com/advice/48-questions-thatll-make-awkward-small-talk-so-much-easier
I’m “Team You’re Welcome” for sure! I’ve had multiple conversations with my young adult children why I prefer “You’re welcome” to “No problem.”
I liked #8--I often really do only have just a minute when I see someone at the post office or grocery store or on a walk around town. It’s a great way to show them I care about speaking to them but also protect my time.
These are all great but question #1 implies that you may be less than honest otherwise. I prefer to rephrase as “May I be candid with you?”
Bill! I love you man but maybe, perhaps, post a link to someone’s Substack instead of just the elite media? A polite request!
I love you too man! What link are you talking about?
Suggested reading at the bottom of your posts...
Are you talking about the links to the seven other things?
Yes
On the retirement article. I encourage my clients who are going to retire to retire TO something, rather than FROM something. I try to get them started about a year earlier than they retire. Those that followed my advice had a smooth transition. Those that didn’t usually got sick.
I personally appreciate links from recognized news sources rather than other Substacks.
I second Darrell’s comment. I realize I have to consider the source, but I prefer recognized media, rather than being directed to someone’s Substack.
If it all has the potential to be a rabbit hole with potential untruths, I’d rather spend my time reading things that are knowingly vetted by higher numbers of people.
all sources are biased. All truth claims are debatable. You're artificially limitng your perspective on the world for no reason. Besides, Substack is full of former 'elite' outlet journalists as well as academics and otherwise very knowledgeable folks. You need to explore before you make snap judgments like these. it sounds to me like you just don't want to do the work of filtering the publications here. your loss
It’s not a snap judgement and I feel my worldview is quite flexible.
I spent my 40 year career in the newspaper business so I have some perspective. I’ve also seen some “elite journalists” I know shift sideways a bit. At this point, it’s enough to wade through media that uses editors and corroboration from multiple sources. Even though I am retired I am quite busy and don’t need those potential “rabbit holes” as Glenn called them.
That’s me and I also respect how you view the issue.
Interestingly, if someone says "My Pleasure" with a smile these days, there's a fairly high probability that they worked at Chick-Fil-A at some point. It's always fun at a restaurant when the server says, "My Pleasure", we smile at them and ask, "Did you used to work at Chick-Fil-A?" Probably 40% of the time the response is, "Yes! How did you know?" Just a fun little tidbit back at ya'.
Good point. Ritz Carlton, too!
My pleasure is far better than “no problem.”
Your first, can I be honest, has always triggered my reaction (not verbal) " so you haven't been up to now"
Amazing ideas
Definitely agree on you’re welcome
I really appreciated this article and how it promotes positive vibes in small talk. I’m happy that my kids use “you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” instead of “no problem”; and no we didn’t work for Chik-fill-a or Ritz Carlton.
I think you're going to find this interesting. I am getting better about writing the essay part of the newsletter a day or two or more ahead of time many days. So that means that I sometimes I get up in the a.m. and have to think: "Wait, what did I write for today?"
This morning I drove my daughter to school and called my parents on the way home. My dad kept using the phrases on me ... "I only have a minute, but ... " ... "Can I get your opinion on something?" ... "I took your advice on ..."
We were talking for 5 minutes before I realized he was quoting my own essay back to me!
I will keep this email handy this weekend when attending my great grandfather's 100th birthday celebration. Lots of extended family attending and a lot of anxiety at the likely discomfort that some interactions will bring (maybe I'll be using 'disagree and commit' quite a bit...).
This, right here, is liquid gold. It’s a gift to me, and I’m so grateful. Wow. Where was this list 35 years ago, when it could have changed the trajectory of my entire adult life? Who knows. Who cares. I’ll memorize it and use it now, and change my life anyway. Lol
Simply awesome. Thank you, Bill.
I always felt awkward at parties u til a friend shared her secret. Being a thru and thru Yankees fan she asks “What do you think of the Yankees?” She shared that any answer is a starting point for conversation
Now I pick 3 topics and think of several things I could say about each before going to a party. I change topics to fit the party. If topic one only solicited a non conversation with someone, go on to topic #2
Works wonderfully!
Love, love, love these although I don't like #1. Thanks Bill!
I adjust 12 to be “Please say that in another way.” Mostly since I have a tendency to respond incorrectly and this helps me be sure I understand the other person.
Also, I’ve been noticing lately the absence of “You’re welcome” and “My pleasure” so thanks for that. I’ll endeavor to choose one of those versus “Sure” in the future.
Other than 7 and 12, none of these are small talk questions or openers. Several are closed questions or comments and disclaimers. Disclaimers are rarely effective (with exceptions). Here is a good site for small talk questions. Remember generally people like to talk about themselves. Show that you are interested to get to know them, use good open body language. Good luck. https://www.themuse.com/advice/48-questions-thatll-make-awkward-small-talk-so-much-easier
It won’t let me subscribe.😔
That's not good! You're trying to do a premium subscription? Can you email me bill@understandably.com and I'll sort it out? Thanks!