This is a good reminder Bill that in spite of how bad things appear in that moment the one thing we actually can control is our reaction to it. Misery is optional. Seems simplistic maybe but it has worked for almost 80 years and all the different challenges that can happen in such a span of years.
what comes to my mind about being optimistic is something I recently read from a Methodist email I receive daily. Perhaps being more optimistic can be the opposite of being too judgemental.
c/p, w/ some editing:
Honesty, quick and direct, sounds good, right? It’s the “let’s just say the thing everyone is thinking” type of honesty. You know, address problems head on, protect people. Honesty IS kindness.
Altho, honestly, sometimes what feels like honesty can slowly drift into judgment.
The biggest reason the log in our own eye is so dangerous is because we can’t see it ourselves. Most of us are not walking around thinking, “Wow, I’m being self-righteous today.” Usually, we think we’re being wise. Helpful. Honest. We see someone change lanes without using their turn signal, stand up the moment the plane lands, or leave their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot and we appoint ourselves judge and jury. Sometimes those judgments move beyond harmless annoyances into things that actually matter. We see someone making painful or destructive choices and think, “Someone needs to say the thing that needs to be said.”
Some instincts in many situations might be better. Such as listening first. Ask questions. Lead with compassion. Gently correct instead of reacting.
Again, those instincts are different than going in angry or hurt or frustrated by someone’s choices; wanting to go in strong, wanting to fix the problem quickly, and sure you have the answers. Want justice. Want accountability.
Slow down long enough to remember that people are not projects to fix; they are people to love. They will never hear us if we don’t say it with love. Think about times when you’ve tried the “justice” way & it ended in explosions instead of the change you were hoping to see.
Sometimes truth absolutely does need to be spoken. Jesus was never afraid of truth. However, truth without grace can wound people instead of healing them. Now, when in tense situations, especially ones where emotions are high, and if you feel completely certain you know the right answer --- pause. What’s a softer, slower, and, more gentle and gracious approach?
Most likely, the people who have changed you most in your life were not the ones who shamed you into becoming better. They were the ones who made you feel seen instead of condemned. Jesus was a master of this. Removing the log from our own eye begins with humility and with slowing down. We must remember that we may not see as clearly as we think we do.
This is a good reminder Bill that in spite of how bad things appear in that moment the one thing we actually can control is our reaction to it. Misery is optional. Seems simplistic maybe but it has worked for almost 80 years and all the different challenges that can happen in such a span of years.
"An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery."
-Walter Winchell
what comes to my mind about being optimistic is something I recently read from a Methodist email I receive daily. Perhaps being more optimistic can be the opposite of being too judgemental.
c/p, w/ some editing:
Honesty, quick and direct, sounds good, right? It’s the “let’s just say the thing everyone is thinking” type of honesty. You know, address problems head on, protect people. Honesty IS kindness.
Altho, honestly, sometimes what feels like honesty can slowly drift into judgment.
The biggest reason the log in our own eye is so dangerous is because we can’t see it ourselves. Most of us are not walking around thinking, “Wow, I’m being self-righteous today.” Usually, we think we’re being wise. Helpful. Honest. We see someone change lanes without using their turn signal, stand up the moment the plane lands, or leave their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot and we appoint ourselves judge and jury. Sometimes those judgments move beyond harmless annoyances into things that actually matter. We see someone making painful or destructive choices and think, “Someone needs to say the thing that needs to be said.”
Some instincts in many situations might be better. Such as listening first. Ask questions. Lead with compassion. Gently correct instead of reacting.
Again, those instincts are different than going in angry or hurt or frustrated by someone’s choices; wanting to go in strong, wanting to fix the problem quickly, and sure you have the answers. Want justice. Want accountability.
Slow down long enough to remember that people are not projects to fix; they are people to love. They will never hear us if we don’t say it with love. Think about times when you’ve tried the “justice” way & it ended in explosions instead of the change you were hoping to see.
Sometimes truth absolutely does need to be spoken. Jesus was never afraid of truth. However, truth without grace can wound people instead of healing them. Now, when in tense situations, especially ones where emotions are high, and if you feel completely certain you know the right answer --- pause. What’s a softer, slower, and, more gentle and gracious approach?
Most likely, the people who have changed you most in your life were not the ones who shamed you into becoming better. They were the ones who made you feel seen instead of condemned. Jesus was a master of this. Removing the log from our own eye begins with humility and with slowing down. We must remember that we may not see as clearly as we think we do.
“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”
~ William Arthur Ward
"Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results."
-Willie Nelson