18 Comments

And so what happens to men’s happiness when they retire ?

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Bill, I don’t think the studies contradict each other at all. Relationships are not defined just by people. We have relationships with nature, with faith, with ourselves, and many other things - including and perhaps most importantly, work. One common denominator of a relationship that makes us happy and nurtures us, is one where we feel of service to another, and that we are able to be ourselves (and feel valued). Given that we spend a large part of our life at work, being with the right employer, in the right job, and possibly with the right co-workers, would be a HUGE contributor to our happiness it would seem. Our relationship with work might be one of the most important relationships we have.

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Do the surveys contradict each other and is it the same for women?

The men that I know are able to compartmentalize their lives, so “work is work” and “relationships are relationships”. Is this where “men plunder”? Where their focus is where they find their happiness (and this one point is the same for women). But when men retire, if they have not developed hobbies, or have no place to redirect themselves, then their health fails. I see this all the time.

As for “women who glow”, my observation is that the one’s I know, are better at multitasking and handling relationships (of all kinds) long term. But they can juggle many things at once, so tend to have multiple outlets for their energy. Even the ones who are unmarried usually have hobbies and friendships to help make their lives fuller. They tend to handle retirement better than men because of this.

Of course, all bets are off for those struggling with abuse, loss, destitution, addiction, severe illness and depression. That’s a totally different topic.

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The surveys may be fairly consistent. Four of the five summarized factors that influence men’s happiness at work are relational. Chatting regularly with co-workers, being inspired by coworkers, feeling their ideas are valued by others at work and being surrounded by diverse perspectives all relate to how they get along with and appreciate people they work with. For many men (and women) work forms the core of their social circle and support system.

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It’s Colin Hay, not Day. G’Day!

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I'm a guy. I believe the results of this study, as I relate to the findings IMMENSELY. I think the "happiness at work" findings are driven by the innate need for men to provide. Our sense of being as providers drives our understanding and acceptance that we must work in order to be providers. We are kind of stuck with needing to work. So, if we must work, we yearn to be happy when working.

I, for one, know that when I am fulfilled in my work, I am a much MUCH happier person, a more attentive spouse, and a more patient and loving father.

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What I found most interesting is that the author of this study of American men is a University College London psychologist. I wonder why he's looking across the pond for subjects instead of England, the UK or even the EU.

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I don't see any contradiction between the "Satisfaction at Work" and the Harvard Grant Study. The bullet points on what makes a man "satisfied" at work all can only be achieved when you have good relationships at work. The Harvard study says "good relationships" make us happy.

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Traveling in a fried out Kombi… ?

Did I miss something?

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Indeed.

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Bill, many if the items that men are saying make them happy, I would sum up as “relevance”. Men want to be listened to, feel that they are making a difference, etc. in essence, they want to feel relevant! I think the older we get, the more that relevance plays a part in our happiness.

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