Where can you find a fax machine in Aruba?

And other weird things my dreams make me question when I read about unhappy lawyers.

I had a very well-structured dream last night. Well, two nights ago, in fact, since I wrote this yesterday and you’re reading it now.

Much like Mrs. Foley taught me way back in 2nd grade, it had what every good story has to have: a beginning, a middle, and an end.

The beginning

The dream took place in Aruba, which is known as One Happy Island and lives up to it in my experience. My family and I were there on vacation. It was sunny and 82 degrees Fahrenheit as it is literally every single day of the year.

(I know this because I’ve had Oranjestead on my phone’s weather app for more than a decade, since my last happy trip there.)

The middle

Unfortunately, I was not having a good time.

The reason is that I was a trial lawyer working for the U.S. Government back home, and I was overwhelmed and very far behind on my work. Naturally (dream logic), I decided the way to get on top of things was to bring boxes and boxes of case files with me.

At the top of one of the files was a notice that read “must be turned over by the 9th,” and I suddenly realized in the dream that it was in fact the 9th.

I had never even opened the file before, and so I spent a lot of time in the dream driving all over Aruba trying to find a working fax machine (again, dream logic) in order to fax whatever it was I had to turn over ...

I finally found one, and realized I didn’t know exactly what I was supposed to turn over, so I decided to fax the entire case file to the court, on the (dream logic) theory that the penalty for turning over too much information was probably less than the penalty for missing the deadline.

The end

Like most dreams it gets a bit foggy here, but I think I realized that there were other things I also had to do for work but didn’t know how to do.

I got back to the hotel and found my wife and daughter in the lobby. They looked tanned, rested and ready, as a certain ex-president once put it, but also concerned.

“You cannot keep working there!” my wife told me in the dream. “I don’t know what you’re going to do, but it can’t be this!”

By this point, we had attracted a crowd. I sat down, opened my laptop, and began writing a very short email:

“I am writing to resign my position with the United States Government. …”

There was a pregnant pause, as if everyone in the crowd around me knew I had to make one small change to the email before I hit send. So I added two words:

“Effective immediately.”

Cheers erupted — like when Daniel won the last fight in The Karate Kid, or when Rudy finally got onto the field for Notre Dame in Rudy.

Sounds like kind of a nightmare

I woke up—and I realized why I’d had this dream:

First, because we’re going to Aruba for spring break. (Can’t wait!)

Second, because of the story of the highly relatable U.S. government trial attorney who told a federal judge, after he asked why he shouldn’t hold either her or her client officials (from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security) in contempt for repeatedly violating his orders to do things like release people from detention:

“Sometime I wish you would just hold me in contempt, your honor, so that I can have a full 24 hours of sleep. I work days and night just because people (are) still in there ...

“I am here with you, Your Honor. What do you want me to do? The system sucks. This job sucks. And I am trying every breath that I have so that I can get you what you need.”

Actually, there’s more to that story.

The attorney, Julie Le, is apparently a lawyer for ICE in Washington who volunteered (”I have to say, stupidly,” she told the judge) to help the U.S. Department of Justice in Minneapolis get a handle on the massive backlog of people ICE has detained.

She went on to say that she’s been tempted to quit, but she surmised that if she weren’t in the job pushing DHS to go along with court orders, more people would stay in jail longer. As she told the judge:

“Like, Wait, Julie, stop. You need to go back and get more people out.

That’s why I’m still here. I am here just trying to make sure that the agency understand how important it is to comply with all the court orders, which they have not done in the past or currently.”

After news of this exchange with the judge got out, she was reportedly removed from her job.

Thank you, dream

A few years back I went viral for quitting a U.S. government lawyer job after a single day. Long before that, I actually quit the U.S. Department of Justice and eventually practicing law at all.

If I had to summarize in one word why I wasn’t suited to either situation, that would would be “bureaucracy.”

It’s not so much that I thought “this job sucks,” but that they clearly weren’t the right positions for me.

There have been some times over the years when I wondered if it was the right call. Usually when one massive disruption or another upended the writing and digital media industries.

But overall, I’m glad I’m no longer in that line — and haven’t been for a very long time.

If I wasn’t sure of that, it seems like my subconscious dream life wanted to reassure me.

And leave me oh-so-grateful that I haven’t been in a position to volunteer (“stupidly”) for a very long time.

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Other things:

• The Washington Post laid off 1/3 of its staff Wednesday, eliminating its sports section, several foreign bureaus and its books coverage. Rumors of layoffs had circulated for weeks, but the size and scale of the cuts were shocking, affecting virtually every department in the newsroom. (AP)

• The desperate search for “TODAY” co-anchor Savannah Guthrie’s mother stretched into its fourth day Wednesday as local and federal authorities continue to investigate her possible abduction. Nancy Guthrie, 84, was reported missing Sunday afternoon from her home outside Tucson, Arizona, after she did not show up at church. The sheriff’s department believes Guthrie was taken “possibly in the middle of the night, and that includes possible kidnapping or abduction.” (NBC News)

• Bill and Hillary Clinton are in House Republicans’ crosshairs — and the Democratic Party they once led isn’t coming to the rescue. A youthful vanguard of progressive office-holders unlikely to even recall the Clinton presidency have largely opted against defending the once formidable pair, even as many regard the GOP effort to compel their testimony over the Epstein files as blatantly hypocritical and politically driven. (Politico)

• The IRS is asking employees without tax experience to answer phones and process tax returns, a step impacted staff call unprecedented as the agency scrambles to prepare for filing season. The details come as IRS has dramatically slashed its workforce, cutting more than 20,000 employees—or more than 20% of total staff—in the last year. “It would be a disaster,” one employee said. “Many of us don’t have this kind of knowledge to do an effective job for taxpayers.” (GovExec)

• Former Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, a Conservative who led the country from 2006 to 2015, said his country should make “any sacrifice necessary” to preserve its independence from the U.S. Harper made the remarks in a speech during his official portrait unveiling, after President Trump has talked about trying to make Canada the 51st state and has threatened the country with tariffs. (AP)

• Scientists are studying Juan López García, 82, a world-record holding ultramarathoner, who is supposedly as fit as an average 20-year-old, to learn how we can stay healthy as we age. (The Washington Post, but via Yahoo News)

• The Winter Olympics are upon us. Here’s how to follow along. (NPR)

Thanks for reading. Photo by Lex Melony on Unsplash. See you in the comments.