Awe? Awwwww
Backed by science.
What's harder than raising kids? The latest cognitive research suggests an emotional strategy that might help, and it all comes down to a simple word.
In fact, it’s a word that I don’t think all of us define correctly: “awe.” Let’s start by grabbing a few dictionary definitions for reference:
awe, n., according to Merriam-Webster: “an emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime …”
awe, n., according to Dictionary.com: “an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like …”
awe, n., according to the Oxford English Dictionary: “Originally: a feeling of fear or dread, mixed with profound reverence, typically as inspired by God or the divine. Subsequently: a feeling of reverential respect, mixed with wonder or fear, typically as inspired by a person of great authority, accomplishments, etc., or (from the 18th century) by the power or beauty of the natural world …”
See what I mean? I think a lot of us use “awe” as as synonym for simply, “amazed,” or even “very impressed.”
But there’s this other element of dread and fear; a feeling perhaps that we’re encountering something far beyond our ability to comprehend.
All of which makes a study out of the University of Rochester, published in the journal, Social Psychological and Personality Science, a little more intriguing.
A research team led by a graduate student in the Department of Psychology named Princeton Chee conducted studies that involved almost 900 parents in order to determine whether a sense of awe regarding their children — and the somewhat lesser but still important emotion, pride — affects the parents’ well-being.
In short, “awe” acted almost as a magic elixir, and experiencing it was correlated with profound effects on the parents’ well-being.
“We find that awe can actually strengthen parental well-being more broadly and holistically, compared to pride, making parents lives feel happier, more meaningful, and richer in experiences,” Chee said.
Like many studies of its kind, we wind up having to consider our old friend, causation versus correlation here.
But, whether feeling awe in a child’s accomplishments or even their very existence led to better well-being, or whether a parents’ better feeling about themselves led to a higher propensity to feel awe when thinking about their children, consider some of the overlaps:
Reported feelings of awe regarding children were correlated with strong associations with “purpose, meaning, and psychological richness” for parents.
Feelings of awe also correlated with an alternation in the parents’ perception of the passage of time, so that they were better able “fully immerse themselves … during extraordinary moments,” Chee said.
They also found that pride in one’s children was associated with better well-being. It’s just that awe, which they perceived more of a holistic, other-centered emotion, as opposed to one that had to do with the parents’ personal accomplishments, had a stronger correlation with even greater well-being.
“Parents everywhere are struggling with mental health and well-being,” Chee said, adding later: “Awe may be easier to find and cultivate than you might think. … It doesn’t have to be only once in a lifetime, extraordinary experiences.”
Instead, the key really seems to be the idea of learning to view the mundane and even hardest parts of raising a child (trust me, there are many, as much as I love being a dad) as part of a giant experience that surpasses anything we could do or even truly understand on our own.
Worth nothing: Awe comes up an awful lot in cognitive research on well-being.
As an example, a 2020 study found that taking a 15-minute walk in nature once a week, and choosing paths where the scenery and experience were likely to create feelings of “awe,” resulted in improved “prosocial emotions” such as compassion and gratitude.
And, Ethan Kross, a neuroscientist and director of the Emotion and Self-Control Lab at the University of Michigan, suggests that seeking out experiences that inspire awe can help people overcome negative thoughts and turn down their inner voice when it’s not being helpful to them.
When I read things like this, it reminds me if I needed it that being a parent really is an almost incomprehensible gift — and the experiences I’ve had as a result really are awe-inspiring. That’s worth considering by any definition.
7 other things worth knowing today
Authorities say they have identified a suspect in the "act of terrorism" car bombing of a fertility clinic in Palm Springs, California that killed at least one person and wounded others: Guy Edward Bartkus, 25, who lived about an hour's drive from the attack. The suspect stated in writings or recordings that he was against bringing people into the world against their will, according to the sources familiar with the investigation. (CBS News)
Mexican sailors were seen dangling from a navy training vessel's main mast moments after the ship smashed into the Brooklyn Bridge. The sailors had been standing atop the Cuauhtémoc's 150-foot masts in the lead up to the ship striking the iconic structure on Saturday as part of a traditional greeting. The massive Navy vessel, reportedly carrying nearly 300 passengers, hit the iconic New York City bridge, triggering a colossal rescue response and leaving two dead and dozens more severely injured. (Daily Mail)
Oklahoma high schools will now be required to teach 2020 election conspiracy theories as fact. The new social studies curriculum, created at the behest of Ryan Walters, the state school superintendent, will ask high school students to identify “discrepancies” in the 2020 election results. (The Guardian)
A bipartisan bill in Congress could allow supersonic flight over the continental U.S. for the first time in 52 years, as long as they're quiet. The Supersonic Aviation Modernization Act would allow America's aviation watchdog to issue licenses allowing flights over land "at a Mach number greater than one so long as the aircraft is operated in such a manner that no sonic boom reaches the ground in the United States." (The Register)
I was a Theranos whistleblower. Here’s what I think Elizabeth Holmes is up to. Her partner’s new blood-testing company, Haemanthus, looks mighty familiar. (Stat News)
This was a bit of a surprise: On Friday, Mark Cuban’s time on Shark Tank came to an end. The The 66-year-old billionaire businessman closed his final deal (with a luxury deviled egg company!) after 14 years on the long-running show. (People)
Life lessons from 90-year-olds who are still working, active, and financially savvy. (Business Insider)
Thanks for reading. Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash. I wrote about some of this before at Inc.com. See you in the comments.
Bill, I enjoy Understandably each morning with my coffee... but today's edition on awe moved me so much I have to write back. For a number of years now I've been trying to practice finding awe in my ordinary days and it's made life so much richer. Of course, we forget, so your reminder today to see my child with awe is very much appreciated. I'm no Bill Murphy but I also write a little, mostly for self therapy, I suppose. If interested, here's my piece on awe - may you have a magical and awesome day:) https://medium.com/@penny4yourthoughts/have-a-most-awesome-day-8eacdfb728a7
I try to get out in nature every day. Lucky to live a few blocks from the ocean, but I prefer walking among trees. I live in a very urban area so it’s hard to find trees sometimes but it is worth the effort.
It will be interesting to seeing to see the curriculum on the 2020 election. And I am pretty sure the president has physicals every year and the results are released to the public. Cancer likes to hide in the body, so not surprised that it was missed.