Did you get the memo?

Wait. Was 'Office Space' a CIA-inspired idea from World War II? Read on... also, 7 other things worth knowing today.

The year was 1944. The world was at war.

In Washington, the CIA—OK, fine, be a stickler: not the CIA exactly, but the precursor agency to the CIA—had an idea on how to help.

The plan: Publish a how-to guide to creating toxic workplaces, then smuggle it to sympathetic workers in Europe who hoped to sabotage the Axis from within. 

Not everyone could carry a gun or blow up train tracks and military installations, but perhaps they could make their workplaces so inhospitable and inefficient that they might slow down the Nazi war machine.

Office Space (1999). This movie destroyed my corporate career before it really got started, and I am forever grateful.

Genius. Pure evil genius.

The guide was called the Simple Sabotage Field Manual. You can read the whole thing online today. 

What's most fascinating to me is how many of the things that Allied spies advised doing to create toxic workplaces eight decades ago are the EXACT SAME THINGS we complain about at work today.

So, as a public service, do your coworkers do any of the things listed below? If so, maybe they’re just toxic people—or else, maybe they work … for the CIA!

(OK, maybe it would make more sense that they would work for a foreign intelligence agency, because why would the CIA try to sabotage American workplaces? Or else—ugh, why don’t we just forget the joke, agree to suspend our disbelief, and continue right along?)

Here are eight quasi-serious clues:

Clue 1. Do they insist on holding meetings, when less-intrusive means of discussion will do?

From the sabotage guide:

Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done ... When possible, refer all matters to committees, for "further study and consideration." Attempt to make the committees as large as possible—never less than five.

Clue 2. Do they talk on and on and on, long after anyone else is interested?

From the sabotage guide:

Make "speeches." Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your "points" by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate "patriotic" comments.

3. Do they insist on revisiting things that have already been decided?

From the sabotage guide:

Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions. ... Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.

4. Do they treat colleagues unfairly?

From the sabotage guide:

To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers; complain unjustly about their work.

5. Do they make constant excuses?

From the sabotage guide:

Contrive as many interruptions to your work as you can: when changing the material on which you are working, as you would on a lathe or punch, take needless time to do it. If you are cutting, shaping or doing other measured work, measure dimensions twice as often as you need to. When you go to the lavatory, spend a longer time there than is necessary. Forget tools so that you will have to go back after them.

6. Do they seem paralyzed and unable to act?

From the sabotage guide:

Advocate caution. Be "reasonable" and urge your fellow-conferees to be "reasonable" and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on. ... Be worried about the propriety of any decision—raise the question of whether such action as is contemplated lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with the policy of some higher echelon."

7. Do they have a hard time working with colleagues?

From the sabotage guide: 

Never pass on your skill and experience to a new or less skillful worker. Give lengthy and incomprehensible explanations when questioned. When training new workers, give incomplete or misleading instructions.

8. Do they set fires at work, or else call in false police reports to send emergency workers to the wrong parts of the city?

OK, obviously this one would go beyond just creating a toxic workplace, and the fact that they're on the list is a reminder that the sabotage guide was in fact intended for warfare. 

But, if some of the other items on this list seem a little familiar, maybe it's worth an investigation. You might realize your workplace is more toxic than you think.

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7 other things worth knowing today

• WhiTe House to announce climate actions but not yet declare an ‘emergency.' (Politico)

• Tesla forced to pay for owner’s $115,000 car over its ‘dangerous’ Autopilot—but don’t expect it will do this for everyone. (Fortune)

• A crew member for “Law & Order: Organized Crime” was shot and killed early Tuesday morning in New York while on location for filming of the show’s third season. “We were terribly saddened and shocked to hear that one of our crew members was the victim of a crime early this morning and has died as a result,” NBC and studio Universal Television said. (Variety)

• I've written a few times recently about the difficulty in filling quotas for the U.S. military. Finally, someone says what everyone I know in these military circles has been saying quietly: "It paints a very clear picture of concern related to the future of the all-volunteer force." (Military Times)

• Twitter wins its bid to fast-track lawsuit against Elon Musk. (CNBC)

• Would I normally cover the meeting of the U.S. Secretary of State with the president of South Korea? Probably no, but this attempt to squelch coverage is pretty funny.

Chris Condon @chrisjcondon

US Trsy Sec Janet Yellen met today with South Korean President Yoon Seok-youl in Seoul. The press traveling with Yellen was banned from taking cell-phone photos and our phones had black tape put over their lenses. So I had no choice but to sketch the meeting.

• Finally, I didn't have the video to go with this the other day. I know there are many stories out there that don't get reported; consider this person's act of heroism both on its own merits, and to represent many of the others. The final few seconds, when the pizza delivery guy has given all but the last measure of devotion, learning that the girl he rescued is OK? It's worth the click.

LafayetteINPolice @LafayetteINPD

Here’s the video to go along with the story.

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Thanks for reading. Photo credit: fair use. I wrote about some of this before for Inc.com. Want to see all my mistakes? Click here.