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founding

My team was grumpy when they had to work from home!!!?!!? They missed being in the office together — but they are all back in the office now :)

Recruiting and hiring starts with genuine core value alignment which is the foundation and first star you use to build your dream team of 5-Star Employees. There is an objective employee / candidate rating system for this: www.5Staremployees.com

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founding

School/college is my guess for second most common place to have met a best friend.

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I met my beloved at work, I was a rep for a computer company, and he worked at Staples. It really was one of those "love at first site" moments. We've been together over 20 years! He is my best friend! But I have met many other awesome people while not at work, through my various things I do. Plant societies, music classes...etc :) For the record I used to take my kids to Friendly's when they were little, we loved it there, but they are mostly closed now where we live...

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“First, Break All The Rules

What the world’s greatest managers do differently”

….was the predecessor to “12: The Elements of Great Managing.” The second book broke down the questions in a more concrete manner why the first was more philosophical.

One of the things people miss in the best friend question that I found often led to confusion was the difference between best friend at work and “a” best friend at work, the latter being the actual question. People can have multiple “best friends” in different situations. If you think about you, you might have heard someone tell a story about their best friend “at work” as apposed to another best friend.

The point in the question is for people to have someone at work they trust to confide in and with whom they genuinely enjoy spending time. No surprise since we are such social animals. It might have been a surprise to corporate executive who typically see little value in the soft skills.

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Apr 13, 2022Liked by Bill Murphy Jr.

Edna Marie and I met in 1970 when we worked at the Friendly Ice Cream shop in Coolidge Corner Brookline MA. She was a senior in high school and I a Boston University freshman. I was the last new hire of the new Friendly Ice Cream shop in March of 1969 in Mt. Kisco NY. By the following fall, when the graduating Class of 1969 seniors left for college, I was promoted to Shift Supervisor (I got to wear a bow tie!). This is the skill that got me hired in Coolidge Corner. I am forever grateful to my Friendly training, both for life skills learned, and the opportunity to meet my best friend. We celebrate our 49th year of marriage this fall.

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I’m not sure “best friend” is as important as comradeship. I work at home and have two interns who probably wouldn’t be my best friends (esp. politically), but we have great camaraderie and trust in each other’s skills, work ethic and opinions about our chosen field. Though each of us works solo, we know we can connect when needed and get together every 6 weeks to tweak our skills. I didn’t meet them at work, but rather random meetings.

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I'm guessing that best-ish friends track back to childhood/school friends. Secondarily, for many of us, growing up in church with strong youth groups, that was and is the source for many enduring friendship. I'm so grateful for social media that has permitted reconnecting with those circles of school and church friends. My childhood "gang" of girlfriends has reconstituted and I'm in my 70s (still uncomfortable admitting my age).

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I’ve had a “best friend” for 32 years. He hired me to work at the small company where he was the #2 guy. Slowly I rose in the company ranks, eventually joining my friend on the exec team. When the company sold, my friend didn’t get on with the CEO, and my friend was moved out of the company (while I stayed on as #2). Somehow, through it all, we remain best friends (to this day). We never let the bullshit machine get in the way of our friendship.

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When I got my first “real job” out of college, I had a great “group” of women friends/co-workers. We did so much together. We traveled together, spent lots of time at each other’s homes. I felt genuinely connected to each of these women and felt very fulfilled at work and in my life. These friendships lasted for almost 5 years. However, when I moved all the way across the country, they all just “faded away”. Not from anything negative but just from being so far away and life taking us all in different directions. 26 yrs later I have no idea where any of them are anymore (I don’t do any social media, it’s just not my thing) So I had kids and became a “stay-at-home” mom and met my next group of friends via my kid’s friend’s, arranging play dates and whatnot.. And, again, we were “best friends” for a long time until, again, I moved back across the country. I know a lot of people do very well with long distance friendships but mine always seem to fade away no matter how many hours spent talking on the phone/FaceTime. And several of my good friends weren’t good “phone talkers” I now work as a LMT and this job is not very conducive to “work” friendships but I do have one close friend that I met. Our daughters took dance together. Maybe the second top place to make friends is through your kids and their friend’s parents? At least that’s how it’s worked for me since having children.

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founding

Half of this business is 90 percent packaging….a good place to start your memoir, truism compendium, personal quote book…The Truth as seen and shared by Bill Murphy Jr.

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I met several of my best friends at work, we were colleagues working in education. Over 30 years later we are still best friends and go on an annual gal pal trip every year. We are all retired and still enjoy each other's company on a regular basis.

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That question on the Gallup survey has come up recently in a number of conversations with executives I coach. In every case it was met with a reaction of "huh?" - sheer bewilderment. These executives had not quarrel with having friends at work, and allowed for how it might contribute to happiness, but saw it as neither necessary nor sufficient for positive engagement. Particularly in the case of executives, that friend would need to be a peer. Friendship gets in the way when it's time for layoffs, downsizing, promotions, raises, etc.

For myself, as an INTJ, the I (introvert) part comes into play strongly here. I have a few close friends and a lot of acquaintances in my life, and while I now work from home and so am alone most of the time, even when I've worked in offices, the question of friendship never seemed relevant. This Gallup question is, in my view, biased toward Extraverts and ignores sources of engagement for Introverts.

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I know feeling accepted at work is important. Yes, I would be more apt to stick around if I feel accepted and included at work for sure. I have found it very hard to feel accepted at work in the past, an outsider if you will, not quite fitting in. Maybe that is in part due to the introvert in me that does relish my quiet time. I do enjoy interactions with others, especially those with similar interests, just need to recharge after them.

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