99 Comments
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Guy Bentinck's avatar

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

A: Time to get a new one!

Greg Colley's avatar

Where do Pirates get their hooks?

Second hand stores.

OK, I Googled dad jokes and this was one of the better ones.

What? You want another?!

I only get sick on Wednesdays. I have a weekend immune system.

Tip your server. Happy weekend.

dj l's avatar

loved this when I was a kid, & I'm older than you by far. I've told this to many, for many years:

When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

Howier's avatar

This joke is a repeat. I read it Thursday July 28 and here it is again on Friday.

What’s up with that ? Looking for astute readers who(m) pay attention ?

Cheers

KimPossible's avatar

This is hard! I do Dad Jokes daily with some friends. So to pick just one is difficult. But here goes:

Why was Six afraid of Seven?

Because Seven Ate Nine.

But why did Seven eat Nine?

He heard you were supposed to have three squared meals a day!

Seattle Mom's avatar

I thought it was seven eight nine

KimPossible's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Your explanation just totally Leveled Up my Dad joke!!! 🤣🤣🤣

SPW's avatar

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Jeff Baker's avatar

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

Serafina Moore's avatar

What did the wall say to the other wall?

Meet me at the corner.

Jaymes Cloninger's avatar

My favorite for the last 30 years has been, "What did the bee say to the flower?

Open up bud."

Maureen Grigs's avatar

This has to be the worst!! Mother Skunk was having a problem with her two baby skunks named In and Out. Every time In was in, Out was out. Every time Out was in, In was out. Exasperated, she finally cornered Out and told him to go and find In. Moments later Out was back with In in tow. “How did you find In so fast?”she asked Out. “That’s easy,” Out replied,”In Stinked!”

Kate Scott's avatar

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?

Great big holes all over Australia

SPW's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Linda's avatar

There is a Honda car on the road with a bumper sticker that says “Fenry”.

Fenry Honda

SPW's avatar

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Scott Schwefel's avatar

How do you get a farm girl’s attention?

A tractor

Laura Ingalls's avatar

This was my dad‘s favorite joke when I was growing up. Pete, Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete and Pete fell out. Who was left? Repeat. Pete, Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete and Pete fell out. Who was left? Repeat…😂😂

Laura Ingalls's avatar

I know it’s not exactly what everybody else is saying but when I think of dad jokes it’s my favorite

Tom Pendergast's avatar

My dad’s version had Pete and Repeat sitting on a fence. Pete fell off ...

Bill Murphy Jr.'s avatar

First heard this on 95.5 WBRU in Providence in 1989. Must have been the DJ's last day on the air or something.

Dorene Blake's avatar

thanks for another enjoyable newsletter-I look forward to it every day bringing me up to speed with world events and also inspirational tidbits. Keep it up Bill!!!

Bill Jensen's avatar

Good Bill Murphy. Thank you for the free subscription. I would like offer a joke for consideration.

What quite and smells like a carrot???

A bunny fart.

Sally's avatar

Oh no! I pay to get less and non-payees get more. Please include the “Dad jokes” in subscribers news letter. I am a retired high school teacher and miss the jokes.