Education is sometimes reminding the student of what they already know. In this case, I have used several of your techniques over the years in my business, but never really studying them in depth and why they were helpful. I wish I had read this message 50 years ago. I'm sure it would have helped me be more successful in business and in life. I'm sharing it with my son and a few other young folks. Thank you
as I've mentioned other days, I don't like Starbucks coffee at all. But I love Chipotle. In fact, there's one right around the corner from where I volunteer so I go there every Wed, after leaving, & pick up salads to go, come home, stick them in the fridge & we have them for dinner. YUMMO!! They also do wonderful catering, w/ extremely generous servings. We've done that for parties for about 12 people. One son once won a year's worth of burritos 😁
I'm ALWAYS watching what's happening in China. GLAD investors are pulling away. Bill, you might provide some info about how much real estate/land Chinese investors have in the US - scary, imo
Made me think how especially in the current atmosphere, these phrases could be used to open up conversations I awarded this column to my highest award, the Archive area so that I can access whenever
Lol. Since you asked me to do you a favor and leave a comment, here it is. Thanks for the insightful words. This reminds me of a concise version of Dale Carnegie
I’d love for you to revisit that list of 50 or so books that a high school teacher suggested for her students who she knew would never go to college because of their poor community background . Reading these classics would equate to an upper level education…
Geddy Lee! One of my all-time favorite articles of yours. I recall it in various social settings all the time (for instance, at my book group last night). That one really stuck with me. I happen to be a Rush fan but I think it resonates whether you know who Rush is or not. Well done on that one!
I had a long successful career in sales and these leads are spot on. A slight modification to #3 would be “You might find this interesting.” We don’t want to appear too presumptuous about our knowledge of others. A phase I found very helpful and still use today in communication with others in discussing differing view points is “Help me understand…..” In sales, when the customer objects to moving forward, putting the burden on myself of not understanding why they do not want to complete the transaction, allows for more open communication. It actually switches roles and the customer now needs to “help me understand” why they are not going forward with the transaction. It also allows me to discover and answer the true objection.
This seems to work magic for me when dealing with customer service or similar situations. I simply say, "Hi. I've got a problem. I really hope you can help me."
You're not complaining, you're nit blaming anyone, you've just got a problem and are enlisting their aid.
Great advice. This follows the advice that is based on Tony Robbins, "Neurolinguistics Programming", Norman Vincent Peal's "The Power Positive Thinking", along with other motivational writers like Og Mandino, Earl Nightingale, Dennis Waitley, Zig Ziglar, (I'm showing my age here) along with many others. It is sad that young people today are not taught to compromise, negotiate, and reframe rather that succumbing to the knee jerk reactions that have become so prevalent today.
This collection of statements while "influencing", take me back to my brief direct marketing with Amway[ShamWay]. "Think & Grow Rich", "Power of Positive Thinking" etc. one suggested book was entitled: "How to Win Friends & Influence Others"...borders on manipulation a/o controlling others..I'm suspicious of some of the phrases. Also, I don't mind a decent pitch from a salesperson; I'm reluctant to listen to too many "catch-pharses" you've shown.
Quite the opposite for me. What I learned during my short stint in Amway/INA was an education on how to communicate effectively with nearly anyone. It was an education in personal communication that wasn’t taught in high school or college. Without that education I would surely be in a much lower social and economic standing. It was the foundation that launched my now 30+ years in sales and opened the gate to develop a better understanding of how to effectively communicate in most every situation.
It was also taught to operate from a point of genuine interest in the other people involved. I have given How to Win Friends…several times over the years and feel if those simple rules of communication where applied by the general population the world would be a much better place.
I have found the phrase ‘everything before “BUT” is bullsh*t’ to be very useful over the years. I hear ‘but’ and automatically wonder if someone is being insincere, giving a backhanded compliment, etc. If I hear blah, blah, blah, BUT… I am automatically thinking they didn’t mean the first statement.
No 4 doesn’t need the ‘but’… just impart the information/compliment
No 7 - Are you actually sorry? No.
On number 5, my standard response is “you can ask…”. I’ve always felt manipulated by that one. I never respond with yes, so I commit to nothing beforehand.
I really enjoyed the article. I hope you enjoy your vacation.
Article was good, your number 1 of 7 regarding real estate commission was linked to the wrong article in Bloomberg
yep, I was interested in the real estate link
I’ll check that one
hey, you lead w/ #s 5 & 2 - 👍
#1 - puts me a bit "on guard" - what if I don't like the question/s? What if I don't want to answer 1 or more?
2, 3, 4 - good stuff; imo, puts the person in a good position
#5 - if the person is a "yes" person, could cause an inward 'deep sigh', oh, gosh, what am I gonna have to agree to...
#6 - those 'yes' people can be helped by learning to say "no", & not include any explanations, just "no"
#7 - imo, fun
Education is sometimes reminding the student of what they already know. In this case, I have used several of your techniques over the years in my business, but never really studying them in depth and why they were helpful. I wish I had read this message 50 years ago. I'm sure it would have helped me be more successful in business and in life. I'm sharing it with my son and a few other young folks. Thank you
I just did the same, sending along to my adult kids
as I've mentioned other days, I don't like Starbucks coffee at all. But I love Chipotle. In fact, there's one right around the corner from where I volunteer so I go there every Wed, after leaving, & pick up salads to go, come home, stick them in the fridge & we have them for dinner. YUMMO!! They also do wonderful catering, w/ extremely generous servings. We've done that for parties for about 12 people. One son once won a year's worth of burritos 😁
Just ate at chipotle as i read t the comments.
I'm ALWAYS watching what's happening in China. GLAD investors are pulling away. Bill, you might provide some info about how much real estate/land Chinese investors have in the US - scary, imo
Made me think how especially in the current atmosphere, these phrases could be used to open up conversations I awarded this column to my highest award, the Archive area so that I can access whenever
Once again great article. Should go well with your 100 page book on emotional intelligence.
Lol. Since you asked me to do you a favor and leave a comment, here it is. Thanks for the insightful words. This reminds me of a concise version of Dale Carnegie
"Can I get your opinion on something?" can be effective. It shows you are deferring to the person's knowledge or expertise.
Absolutely. Or even “Can I get your advice…”
I’d love for you to revisit that list of 50 or so books that a high school teacher suggested for her students who she knew would never go to college because of their poor community background . Reading these classics would equate to an upper level education…
I have this list somewhere… but can’t find it!
I don’t remember this!
Mrs.Clark’s Book List
https://acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:VA6C2:0d593ce2-6f3d-4004-b3c9-527cf7881c9a
Yes!
This is it 👍📚
Geddy Lee! One of my all-time favorite articles of yours. I recall it in various social settings all the time (for instance, at my book group last night). That one really stuck with me. I happen to be a Rush fan but I think it resonates whether you know who Rush is or not. Well done on that one!
I had a long successful career in sales and these leads are spot on. A slight modification to #3 would be “You might find this interesting.” We don’t want to appear too presumptuous about our knowledge of others. A phase I found very helpful and still use today in communication with others in discussing differing view points is “Help me understand…..” In sales, when the customer objects to moving forward, putting the burden on myself of not understanding why they do not want to complete the transaction, allows for more open communication. It actually switches roles and the customer now needs to “help me understand” why they are not going forward with the transaction. It also allows me to discover and answer the true objection.
Great article! I love this kind of stuff.
This seems to work magic for me when dealing with customer service or similar situations. I simply say, "Hi. I've got a problem. I really hope you can help me."
You're not complaining, you're nit blaming anyone, you've just got a problem and are enlisting their aid.
Make them feel powerful by fixing it for you!
Great advice. This follows the advice that is based on Tony Robbins, "Neurolinguistics Programming", Norman Vincent Peal's "The Power Positive Thinking", along with other motivational writers like Og Mandino, Earl Nightingale, Dennis Waitley, Zig Ziglar, (I'm showing my age here) along with many others. It is sad that young people today are not taught to compromise, negotiate, and reframe rather that succumbing to the knee jerk reactions that have become so prevalent today.
Also Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit 4: seek first to understand.
This collection of statements while "influencing", take me back to my brief direct marketing with Amway[ShamWay]. "Think & Grow Rich", "Power of Positive Thinking" etc. one suggested book was entitled: "How to Win Friends & Influence Others"...borders on manipulation a/o controlling others..I'm suspicious of some of the phrases. Also, I don't mind a decent pitch from a salesperson; I'm reluctant to listen to too many "catch-pharses" you've shown.
Quite the opposite for me. What I learned during my short stint in Amway/INA was an education on how to communicate effectively with nearly anyone. It was an education in personal communication that wasn’t taught in high school or college. Without that education I would surely be in a much lower social and economic standing. It was the foundation that launched my now 30+ years in sales and opened the gate to develop a better understanding of how to effectively communicate in most every situation.
It was also taught to operate from a point of genuine interest in the other people involved. I have given How to Win Friends…several times over the years and feel if those simple rules of communication where applied by the general population the world would be a much better place.
My two cents on numbers 4 and 7…
I have found the phrase ‘everything before “BUT” is bullsh*t’ to be very useful over the years. I hear ‘but’ and automatically wonder if someone is being insincere, giving a backhanded compliment, etc. If I hear blah, blah, blah, BUT… I am automatically thinking they didn’t mean the first statement.
No 4 doesn’t need the ‘but’… just impart the information/compliment
No 7 - Are you actually sorry? No.
On number 5, my standard response is “you can ask…”. I’ve always felt manipulated by that one. I never respond with yes, so I commit to nothing beforehand.
I really enjoyed the article. I hope you enjoy your vacation.