It doesn't take a nation wide study to realize that kids that have had some discipline instilled in them at an early age will have a better work ethic when they're older. I'm of the belief that kids are more committed to accomplishing something when they have some skin in the game. Or at least that's how it was in my family.
I don't know about you, but I think I've become weirdly desensitized to gun violence coverage. Not the actual mass murders themselves; those remain truly shocking and horrifying in the moment, but the coverage afterwards.
Today's blurb about there having been 309 mass shootings this year had me thinking sure, but that's 4 or more shot OR killed, not 4 or more shot AND killed. When everything's a mass shooting, I thought to myself, nothing is. Let's get real and winnow the field a bit and be more judicious with our definitions.
But then I gave my head a shake. This isn't a word exercise. 309 incidents with 4 or more people being shot, dead or not, is actually nonsensical and horrifying. The scale of the tragedy, sorrow, fear and loss that represents is more than most people can bear to think about, I think. And so maybe we just don't any more.
Our two children, now the parents of eight year olds (one is four months older than his twin cousins), were raised to, among other things, do their own laundry when they were tall enough to reach the control dials on the the washer and dryer. My son, when a sophomore in college, was part of the the dorm crew that welcomed the incoming students. He reported, with some appropriate humor, that a number of those in his care needed lessons on how to do laundry. He said it took awhile for pink not to be the regular color of the whites as the teaching on sorting finally became clear. You can see for yourself if the chores correlation has validity by checking out these two published authors: Melinda at thehouseholderspath.com and Adam at adamthomas.net. Okay, no parental (and grandparental!) pride here!!!!!
I carried forward a twist to this that I learned from my Dad. I would assign chores to my kids and if they didn't complete the task without flaws, they had to repeat the entire task again. For example, if they left a holiday (patch of uncut grass) when cutting the yard - they had to cut the entire yard again. Or if the room wasn't dusted fully, they had to clean then entire room again. When I was 10, my Dad made me cut the entire yard 3 times, to get it right. My kids were smarter than me - I never had to have them do a chore more than twice. What we all learned was every job worth doing (no matter how trivial), was worth doing well, the first time.
Re: pets / pet care. I highly value pet care. Even the smallest child learns there is something / someone who relies on them for all their needs - especially relevant in this ‘me’ world. Depending on pet, it connects child to the natural world and each of our roles in being a caretaker. Having a pet and having to care for it can be a wonderful platform for many topics of discussion. A child can be ‘in charge’, the leader, can learn empathy for other living things. A pet requires a child to learn there is something greater than her / himself. I see no down side. I have always had pets, as did our children, and our grandchildren have pets.
I guess that the care and nurturing of something you love, and that loves you back, isn't high on the priority list in Australia. Or the fact that caring for a pet does require one to stick to a schedule. I believe that it's great for kids to have pets and to be totally in charge of raising them.
Yes, all three of my kids had pets. Not only did they do the normal things, feed, bathe, etc, they made the vet appointments, talked with the vet about care and meds and even paid for the vet bill. Yeah, it was my money that I gave them, but paying the bill themselves helped them on so many levels.
What I wound up with was teenagers who could confidently handle their own business. They understood how to converse with adults. They could pay their own bills. They knew how to balance their checking accounts and had debit cards. All from taking care of their dog. And when they had kids they basically knew how to care for them.
When I grew up in the 50’s, everyone had chores! If you wanted to buy something, you saved money from your allowance (which you only received from completing your chores). We also would shovel snow in the winter, and help neighbors. I’d do that whether I was paid or not because I enjoyed working.
I also took care of the dog. Training, walking, grooming and feeding, even though it was my brother’s dog. He could have cared less. The dog was my friend and I learned unconditional love and companionship from that furry creature. This benefited me in my future vocation - helping others who can’t help themselves.
In spite not exhibiting better academic performances and problem solving skills , I think learning to take care of a pet helps us become better adults . . . . . . . .for instance how we care about other people - something that seems to be missing in these times!
My kids have been doing their own laundry since they could reach the dials. If they cook, they wash their own dishes. I cook dinner every night. One sets the table, one clears it. They take turns doing dishes. They are responsible for making their beds every day, and keeping their floors clear of anything the dogs could possibly eat. There are garbage/recycling day chores, pool chores and general clean up your mess chores. I'm pretty much in charge of the dogs but they do clean up after the dogs, and make sure the water bowl is always full. They also help the elderly neighbors with snow removal, etc. Chores are not just about work ethic. They make for good citizens too.
That said, I have two kids with ADHD. When their rooms are a mess, bomb fallout is an understatement. I've been left without words at times. But they always get it done- water bottles and all. It just takes longer than most.
Chores around the house leads to "Responsibility 101". Growing up in the 1960's, my Dad instilled a sense of "these things don't get done by themselves." Sweep the garage floor, sweep the driveway (long before leaf blowers), pull some weeds. If you like swimming in the pool, then sweep the pool and brush the tile daily. Take out the trash, etc. These things weren't fun, but they instilled a sense of work ethic, plus, in my day, chores had a reward called an allowance. Save your money in order to buy that slot car.
When someone goes through addiction rehab they won’t let them have a pet of any kind until they can successfully take care of a plant for a year. A pet is a major responsibility, both for care and feeding as well as social aspects. We are their voice.
Mom said I shouldn't help with chores because she didn't want to waste her time getting me to do the chores and she would just have to do it over because I couldn't do things as well as she did. Well of course not, how was I supposed to learn how to do things better? So in many ways I was not good at follow through and taking responsibility as an adult. Chores are VERY important, even if it's inconvenient for the parent.
I would be willing to bet that readers of Understandably that had pets as a child and have them as adults would all agree on the importance of caring for and loving a pet. Those who did not grow up with pets or don't have them as adults will inevitably downplay the importance of pets as an important developmental component of growing up.
There is no greater unconditional love than that of a beloved pet. Pets help us live longer, they lower our blood pressure and teach us what's important in life. They don't care if we are rich or poor, slim or overweight, beautiful or ugly. When we have a bad day they help us forget our problems and relax... if we are in tune with their emotions.
The six and a half age difference between my two boys can say it all. My son, Sean is the one who can cook and do just about anything pertaining to computers. Cleaning up though is beyond him. He had chores. Scott, my younger son, did not. He would burn water and he puts off cleaning up behind himself until he’s expecting company. As far as I know, he had no chores I’d write more but I’m falling asleep here in my recliner.
It doesn't take a nation wide study to realize that kids that have had some discipline instilled in them at an early age will have a better work ethic when they're older. I'm of the belief that kids are more committed to accomplishing something when they have some skin in the game. Or at least that's how it was in my family.
I don't know about you, but I think I've become weirdly desensitized to gun violence coverage. Not the actual mass murders themselves; those remain truly shocking and horrifying in the moment, but the coverage afterwards.
Today's blurb about there having been 309 mass shootings this year had me thinking sure, but that's 4 or more shot OR killed, not 4 or more shot AND killed. When everything's a mass shooting, I thought to myself, nothing is. Let's get real and winnow the field a bit and be more judicious with our definitions.
But then I gave my head a shake. This isn't a word exercise. 309 incidents with 4 or more people being shot, dead or not, is actually nonsensical and horrifying. The scale of the tragedy, sorrow, fear and loss that represents is more than most people can bear to think about, I think. And so maybe we just don't any more.
Our two children, now the parents of eight year olds (one is four months older than his twin cousins), were raised to, among other things, do their own laundry when they were tall enough to reach the control dials on the the washer and dryer. My son, when a sophomore in college, was part of the the dorm crew that welcomed the incoming students. He reported, with some appropriate humor, that a number of those in his care needed lessons on how to do laundry. He said it took awhile for pink not to be the regular color of the whites as the teaching on sorting finally became clear. You can see for yourself if the chores correlation has validity by checking out these two published authors: Melinda at thehouseholderspath.com and Adam at adamthomas.net. Okay, no parental (and grandparental!) pride here!!!!!
I carried forward a twist to this that I learned from my Dad. I would assign chores to my kids and if they didn't complete the task without flaws, they had to repeat the entire task again. For example, if they left a holiday (patch of uncut grass) when cutting the yard - they had to cut the entire yard again. Or if the room wasn't dusted fully, they had to clean then entire room again. When I was 10, my Dad made me cut the entire yard 3 times, to get it right. My kids were smarter than me - I never had to have them do a chore more than twice. What we all learned was every job worth doing (no matter how trivial), was worth doing well, the first time.
Re: pets / pet care. I highly value pet care. Even the smallest child learns there is something / someone who relies on them for all their needs - especially relevant in this ‘me’ world. Depending on pet, it connects child to the natural world and each of our roles in being a caretaker. Having a pet and having to care for it can be a wonderful platform for many topics of discussion. A child can be ‘in charge’, the leader, can learn empathy for other living things. A pet requires a child to learn there is something greater than her / himself. I see no down side. I have always had pets, as did our children, and our grandchildren have pets.
Kids and pets:
I guess that the care and nurturing of something you love, and that loves you back, isn't high on the priority list in Australia. Or the fact that caring for a pet does require one to stick to a schedule. I believe that it's great for kids to have pets and to be totally in charge of raising them.
Yes, all three of my kids had pets. Not only did they do the normal things, feed, bathe, etc, they made the vet appointments, talked with the vet about care and meds and even paid for the vet bill. Yeah, it was my money that I gave them, but paying the bill themselves helped them on so many levels.
What I wound up with was teenagers who could confidently handle their own business. They understood how to converse with adults. They could pay their own bills. They knew how to balance their checking accounts and had debit cards. All from taking care of their dog. And when they had kids they basically knew how to care for them.
Imagine that.
When I grew up in the 50’s, everyone had chores! If you wanted to buy something, you saved money from your allowance (which you only received from completing your chores). We also would shovel snow in the winter, and help neighbors. I’d do that whether I was paid or not because I enjoyed working.
I also took care of the dog. Training, walking, grooming and feeding, even though it was my brother’s dog. He could have cared less. The dog was my friend and I learned unconditional love and companionship from that furry creature. This benefited me in my future vocation - helping others who can’t help themselves.
In spite not exhibiting better academic performances and problem solving skills , I think learning to take care of a pet helps us become better adults . . . . . . . .for instance how we care about other people - something that seems to be missing in these times!
My kids have been doing their own laundry since they could reach the dials. If they cook, they wash their own dishes. I cook dinner every night. One sets the table, one clears it. They take turns doing dishes. They are responsible for making their beds every day, and keeping their floors clear of anything the dogs could possibly eat. There are garbage/recycling day chores, pool chores and general clean up your mess chores. I'm pretty much in charge of the dogs but they do clean up after the dogs, and make sure the water bowl is always full. They also help the elderly neighbors with snow removal, etc. Chores are not just about work ethic. They make for good citizens too.
That said, I have two kids with ADHD. When their rooms are a mess, bomb fallout is an understatement. I've been left without words at times. But they always get it done- water bottles and all. It just takes longer than most.
Chores around the house leads to "Responsibility 101". Growing up in the 1960's, my Dad instilled a sense of "these things don't get done by themselves." Sweep the garage floor, sweep the driveway (long before leaf blowers), pull some weeds. If you like swimming in the pool, then sweep the pool and brush the tile daily. Take out the trash, etc. These things weren't fun, but they instilled a sense of work ethic, plus, in my day, chores had a reward called an allowance. Save your money in order to buy that slot car.
When someone goes through addiction rehab they won’t let them have a pet of any kind until they can successfully take care of a plant for a year. A pet is a major responsibility, both for care and feeding as well as social aspects. We are their voice.
Mom said I shouldn't help with chores because she didn't want to waste her time getting me to do the chores and she would just have to do it over because I couldn't do things as well as she did. Well of course not, how was I supposed to learn how to do things better? So in many ways I was not good at follow through and taking responsibility as an adult. Chores are VERY important, even if it's inconvenient for the parent.
Having my coffee, watching water patterns, clouds, sea birds. Composing on phone
Makes for brief comments.
I would be willing to bet that readers of Understandably that had pets as a child and have them as adults would all agree on the importance of caring for and loving a pet. Those who did not grow up with pets or don't have them as adults will inevitably downplay the importance of pets as an important developmental component of growing up.
There is no greater unconditional love than that of a beloved pet. Pets help us live longer, they lower our blood pressure and teach us what's important in life. They don't care if we are rich or poor, slim or overweight, beautiful or ugly. When we have a bad day they help us forget our problems and relax... if we are in tune with their emotions.
Enjoyed your article today. Our kids have left the nest but I still give my husband chores to do every day.
The six and a half age difference between my two boys can say it all. My son, Sean is the one who can cook and do just about anything pertaining to computers. Cleaning up though is beyond him. He had chores. Scott, my younger son, did not. He would burn water and he puts off cleaning up behind himself until he’s expecting company. As far as I know, he had no chores I’d write more but I’m falling asleep here in my recliner.