Parents who grew up like this might never have known anything different. Also, 7 other things worth knowing today.
My wife and I have similar political views but it doesn’t matter - our relationship is based on things more important.
commenting about "Other" political views... while we both lean conservative, he can go to the extreme, imo. I favor Libertarian. Of course, I just described him as perhaps 'extreme' & he might not agree with that :-). An example could be he might comment that he would favor TX (where we live) as Seceding. I think that's ridiculous. He might then say "all the southern states" & I'd argue against including LA, MS, GA... (gulp, am I getting myself in trouble here???) - just saying, I don't favor our nation "divorcing" at all. We have these conversations often & know each other's opinions & the conversations never get heated.
strangely enough, none of these studies, and several psychologists I have talked to mention the simple shift in language new parents now use, for about 20-22 years in my view of pediatric practice, where parents create enormous conflict and confusion since the toddler age by starting every sentence with "do you want to" when they mean "it's time to", or it's time to put shoes on, do you want to put the right shoe first or the left... and if you're sneaky and want to distract the kid a bit more, " do you want to put your socks first or your shoes first... but if every thing starts by do you want to put your shoes, kids up to age 7-10 take it literally, and fell then coerced to put their shoe on if they did not "feel like it " in the first place... leads to enormous, confusion, mistrust in parents and authority, and a very overwhelming sense that they are in full charge of EVERYTHING, even as toddlers! you can translate that in how teenagers then evolve when they face those "hormonal terrible twos"...
My wife and I generally agree on most things politically, but the key common ingredient is we both believe in personal responsibility. We agree on the big points but how we think to achieve them is different. We attend different churches but realize that we worship the same God. The style is different not the core belief.
I recommend folks read the entire article in the WSJ “America Pulls Back From Values That Once Defined It, WSJ-NORC Poll Finds”. It shows how far apart the two major political parties have become. What can we do to lessen that divide?
I grew up in a small town in Bew Jersey.
I was always outside. My father worked in a refinery and was home at 5 and dinner was 5:15. All you had to do was be home by 5:15.
In the summer I ran around the neighborhoods all day and if I didn’t come home for lunch my mother figured that some other mother fed me and when I showed up with three friends at lunchtime everyone got fed.
By the way , this is from 6 til 13 years of age.
Of course there were no picttures of abducted kids on the side of milk cartons those days snd even after that started it ended quickly when law enforcement concluded that over 90% of abductions were family members or grandparents dealing with divorce and other matters.
It was a liberating and pleasant childhood. No regrets.
My husband and I have similar political views. I doubt it would matter, but it would definitely be less peaceful; I can imagine some very passionate debates would occur! We both have strong opinions and feel the need to be heard.
On dating and politics. I’m a liberal and from all of my experiences in life, the choice is obvious. I grew up in an ultra conservative family but experienced domestic abuse, sexual assault and homelessness. With over 40 years of dating, the majority of the men I dated used to date were charming, then transformed to being manipulative or bullying. They are now Republicans or so into conspiracy theories that they’re lost. I decided that I don’t choose well, so I gave up on dating altogether.
On freedom in childhood. We didn’t have much time with the parents unless it was the holiday. We knew the entire neighborhood, we played with all the kids in the park across the street, we shoveled the senior’s sidewalks and driveways as a group (for free), we were always welcomed in neighbors homes for lunch, we would walk to visit friends who were a 45 min walk from home. We knew every inch of the village, where all of the hideyholes were and naturally avoided the parks at night. But when we were teens, we had homework that kept us studying until 10 pm. Staying in school was really important and we knew it. An entirely different world from today.
My wife and I have similar political views but she tends to not get too caught up in the media hype. When I make a deal of something, she often says "how does this affect you?" What's interesting is how much my views have changed over the years. I was a libertarian and somewhat rebel democrat during my 20's & 30's and now find myself leaning right of center as an independent. It was never discussed when we were dating but I kinda figured where she stood just based on our common values. For what it's worth, a good friend of mine almost got divorced over the last 2 elections, so I see how it can strain a relationship if you're on opposite sides of the political spectrum.
My wife and I are polar opposites politically. We mention this often so how is it we get along so well? We love each other and respect each other's views and opinions even if we disagree with each other. We listen and seek to understand each other's position. And that is what we have lost as a nation. Instead of hating someone who disagrees with you, try to understnd why they believe the way the do.
Political views as a couple: although we mainly agree (I find myself more moderate) my husband’s rhetoric and strong opinions can be off - putting at times. I sometimes cringe when he brings up politics in public. However, I have been able to share with him other perspectives and he’ll occasionally be open to hearing and understanding a slightly different viewpoint.
My partner and I are not on the same page in politics. I could not understand how someone with good morals and ethics could support someone without. I “got it” when he told me that “morals and ethics have nothing to do with politics.” BAM 💥
While my husband and I have similar political views, we don't see eye to eye on every issue. I would be scared if we did. I value our individuality and the discussions it brings.
I both up in a home where my parents had very different political views. I recall times where my parents had discussions about topics and their views and the reasoning behind their choices, and it was never a fight. My parents taught me through this having those conversations were important to know the other persons heart, the reason meant more than the decision itself.
I learned from an early age that it is ok to disagree, but you can still love and respect the other person.
We try to be that example to our children. Love and respect are choices that you make every day.
My wife and I share similar views. For your consideration: we are married 53 years (views have aligned more over the years) and; we both get your newsletter (one paid, one not).
That hang gliding incident just gave America the kind of thinking out of the box we need!