For me it’s aloofness and lack of respect; a “I’m better than you” attitude. Inconsistency can be reflected in the psychological term “random intermittent rewards.” Just think of a casino slot machine.
Gallup learned through all their studies the #1 reason employees leave an organization is a bad bad. Several of the Q12 questions directly relate to bosses. Gallup also cover in their book Strengths Based Leadership the four things followers rank the highest: hope, compassion, trust and stability. Seems stability ties right back to to overarching point of Bill’s newsletter.
The more I read about this, and in my personal experience, it’s ethics—morality. If we try to put that first, everything else second, perhaps we would do right by others, be much happier and solve a lot of problems in the meantime — win, win, and win! Church anyone?
My comment today is only on the Supreme Court leak. No comment on the proposed decision, but only disappointment that it seems in today's era, nothing is confidential. For whatever reason, "leakers" care less for the secure decisions, thoughts, and ideas that are being made, and care more for, for,..... I'm at a loss for that for which they do care.
Absolutely, if you are always having to be vigilant of who is going to walk into the door, your focus is on your hyper awareness versus the task at hand. You can apply this kind of behavior to the home you grow up in. If your dad comes home after having a great day at work and he showers you with love and admiration, you feel valued, and the next day he has a bad day at work and he comes home and either doesn’t even acknowledge you or you are just in his way leaves you not only questioning your own self worth, but how do you navigate your life. Now, going back to the work place, I can check off every bad behavior these bosses had. And it really comes down to they should never be in a management role in the first place. They have not done their job of learning how to manage, learning the subject matter of the issue and most important forgetting that their greatest asset is the self worth of his/her employees.
I've been a boss for a long time and the people I can relate to most and respect most are the ones who speak up. If I have inadvertently dissed someone or been careless or made a poor decision, there is an effective way to approach that. Be brief, be positive, and talk about how my action made you feel. "I feel dissed when you do X" is a lot better than "You're inconsistent". You don't want to attack. You want to communicate. Offer a few suggestions, take partial responsibility ("yeah, I should have asked first"), be understanding, and then move on. Walk away with a new arrangement and grounding and your head held high. Never wipe the floor with someone. That goes for bosses too. Be calm, clear and confident that there will be a solution. Above all, listen. Stop thinking about your own grievances and listen to theirs. They probably have a point. And their point may not be that the coffee machine is never working. Their real point might be that they are expected to make the coffee every single day and they feel disrespected. Disrespect is often at the heart of problems. No one wants to feel dissed.
I worked for an inconsistent boss. It was certainly challenging. Luckily I worked for more than one person and was not his main support but still got exposure. In today's world I likely would have complained or charged him with abuse but in the 80"s you just protected yourself. On his good days he was a pretty interesting guy. On his bad days you did your best to avoid him.
Have to say he was better than some of the micromanagers i have experienced. They are the absolute worst. I can deal with inconsistency but being constantly questioned is not fun
When I was working, my job included developing behavior modification plans to help people increase desired appropriate behaviors and/or extinguish undesirable behaviors. Both positive and negative comments are considered behavioral reinforcements. When people receive mixed messages (inconsistent feedback), they don’t know what the correct action is. This can lead to work errors, anxiety, uncertainty and stress. This is actually what many people who suffer from PTSD due to abusive relationships experience - not knowing if you will be praised/encouraged or assaulted from one moment to the next.
I have been retired for 5 years so much of my earlier work experience was very old school (and not in a good way." Kind of "my way or the highway.") There was not a lot of "back and forth" between bosses and subordinates. That got better through the years. We started to have employee satisfaction surveys in the 1980s. I never hated a job or even hated a boss but did have one particular situation in 1975 when I was 23 years old with a male boss. I had been late a few times for work by about 10 minutes. I know it was not acceptable and caused some disruption of work flow for other employees so I am not making excuses. My boss kept me late after work one day, was angry and said "you are the world's only living 23-year-old abortion." I was never late again but mostly out of fear than anything else.
Remember the “Peter Principle”? You rise to your highest level of incompetence! That’s what this newsletter sounds like. My boss story is about a man who assumed I knew what he wanted through osmosis. He’d come in ranting about something and I said “It would have been nice to know that you felt this way, before ranting at me?” I’m very direct. He went back to his office to stew. I felt great compassion for his wife and children.
Evidently the company wanted to keep me because I was fearless. One time, he complained to management that it was embarrassing that I was a waitress at the Art Museum (on my day off). He felt it reflected badly in the firm. What a surprise for him when the company exonerated me for doing just that, because it was a volunteer position.
Another comment on bosses. When I was a boss, I always had an open door policy. I would listen to the complaints, then ask what they thought would be a solution. I would then talk them through their idea. One time I had two coworkers who were arguing all the time. I took them into a room and had them tell the other what they didn’t like about the other. I had each one repeat back what they heard. It was very revealing. Then I asked them to figure out how to work this out (with me present) as their arguments had nothing to do with the company’s mission statement. That scenario never happened again.
While I can understand a sales manager’s frustration at poor performance , I detest having to sit in a general sales meeting while the manager screams and yells while berating the group. My experience in this situation upset me so much that I decided to QUIT! After the Christmas holiday, I returned to work after New Years to learn that the manager had resigned - which saved my career.
It seems to me that situation would have been better handled on a one on one basis.
We operate a small non-profit that provides support services to intellectually and developmentally disabled adults, and we recently had a very bad experience with an Executive Director who was obviously very knowledgeable but could not, or would not, effectively communicate with staff. She immediately created a toxic atmosphere that almost dared a staff member to ask questions, make comments, or just do their jobs. In two weeks, she managed to run off two-thirds of our staff, each commenting on the fact that they were not going to be talked down to by anyone, and that she wanted it done her way or the highway. This immediately created an atmosphere where everyone was on pins and needles everyday. She didn't last a month, because she also could not communicate with the Board of Directors.
I have been in management positions most of my professional life, and cannot imagine anyone in a management position not knowing to listen with two ears and talk with one mouth, and that the mouth does not need to be loud and abusive, just thoughtful and open. Easy as that.
Bosses: Boy they really missed one that is all too common, the Shark Tank Boss. Every employee is a shark in a tank and pitted against each other. The Boss will frequently "cut" one employee, usually the weakest one in his opinion, and let the other employees devour the weak one to the point that they quit. This accomplishes two things, one, there is no unemployment claim since the employee quit, two, the boss doesn't have to have that dreaded "You gotta go" meeting with the employee. Only a truly crappy person with no self worth would manage like this.
This is really a pet peeve of mine, being ignored or simply dismissed when I suggest something to improve work processes. Drives me up a wall!
For me it’s aloofness and lack of respect; a “I’m better than you” attitude. Inconsistency can be reflected in the psychological term “random intermittent rewards.” Just think of a casino slot machine.
Gallup learned through all their studies the #1 reason employees leave an organization is a bad bad. Several of the Q12 questions directly relate to bosses. Gallup also cover in their book Strengths Based Leadership the four things followers rank the highest: hope, compassion, trust and stability. Seems stability ties right back to to overarching point of Bill’s newsletter.
The more I read about this, and in my personal experience, it’s ethics—morality. If we try to put that first, everything else second, perhaps we would do right by others, be much happier and solve a lot of problems in the meantime — win, win, and win! Church anyone?
Gallup Q12 relevant questions. It is interesting that half of the 12 questions directly relate to a “boss.”
I know what is expected of me at work.
In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good work.
My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.
There is someone at work who encourages my development.
At work, my opinions seem to count.
In the last six months, someone at work has talked to me about my progress.
My comment today is only on the Supreme Court leak. No comment on the proposed decision, but only disappointment that it seems in today's era, nothing is confidential. For whatever reason, "leakers" care less for the secure decisions, thoughts, and ideas that are being made, and care more for, for,..... I'm at a loss for that for which they do care.
Absolutely, if you are always having to be vigilant of who is going to walk into the door, your focus is on your hyper awareness versus the task at hand. You can apply this kind of behavior to the home you grow up in. If your dad comes home after having a great day at work and he showers you with love and admiration, you feel valued, and the next day he has a bad day at work and he comes home and either doesn’t even acknowledge you or you are just in his way leaves you not only questioning your own self worth, but how do you navigate your life. Now, going back to the work place, I can check off every bad behavior these bosses had. And it really comes down to they should never be in a management role in the first place. They have not done their job of learning how to manage, learning the subject matter of the issue and most important forgetting that their greatest asset is the self worth of his/her employees.
I've been a boss for a long time and the people I can relate to most and respect most are the ones who speak up. If I have inadvertently dissed someone or been careless or made a poor decision, there is an effective way to approach that. Be brief, be positive, and talk about how my action made you feel. "I feel dissed when you do X" is a lot better than "You're inconsistent". You don't want to attack. You want to communicate. Offer a few suggestions, take partial responsibility ("yeah, I should have asked first"), be understanding, and then move on. Walk away with a new arrangement and grounding and your head held high. Never wipe the floor with someone. That goes for bosses too. Be calm, clear and confident that there will be a solution. Above all, listen. Stop thinking about your own grievances and listen to theirs. They probably have a point. And their point may not be that the coffee machine is never working. Their real point might be that they are expected to make the coffee every single day and they feel disrespected. Disrespect is often at the heart of problems. No one wants to feel dissed.
I worked for an inconsistent boss. It was certainly challenging. Luckily I worked for more than one person and was not his main support but still got exposure. In today's world I likely would have complained or charged him with abuse but in the 80"s you just protected yourself. On his good days he was a pretty interesting guy. On his bad days you did your best to avoid him.
Have to say he was better than some of the micromanagers i have experienced. They are the absolute worst. I can deal with inconsistency but being constantly questioned is not fun
When I was working, my job included developing behavior modification plans to help people increase desired appropriate behaviors and/or extinguish undesirable behaviors. Both positive and negative comments are considered behavioral reinforcements. When people receive mixed messages (inconsistent feedback), they don’t know what the correct action is. This can lead to work errors, anxiety, uncertainty and stress. This is actually what many people who suffer from PTSD due to abusive relationships experience - not knowing if you will be praised/encouraged or assaulted from one moment to the next.
I have been retired for 5 years so much of my earlier work experience was very old school (and not in a good way." Kind of "my way or the highway.") There was not a lot of "back and forth" between bosses and subordinates. That got better through the years. We started to have employee satisfaction surveys in the 1980s. I never hated a job or even hated a boss but did have one particular situation in 1975 when I was 23 years old with a male boss. I had been late a few times for work by about 10 minutes. I know it was not acceptable and caused some disruption of work flow for other employees so I am not making excuses. My boss kept me late after work one day, was angry and said "you are the world's only living 23-year-old abortion." I was never late again but mostly out of fear than anything else.
Remember the “Peter Principle”? You rise to your highest level of incompetence! That’s what this newsletter sounds like. My boss story is about a man who assumed I knew what he wanted through osmosis. He’d come in ranting about something and I said “It would have been nice to know that you felt this way, before ranting at me?” I’m very direct. He went back to his office to stew. I felt great compassion for his wife and children.
Evidently the company wanted to keep me because I was fearless. One time, he complained to management that it was embarrassing that I was a waitress at the Art Museum (on my day off). He felt it reflected badly in the firm. What a surprise for him when the company exonerated me for doing just that, because it was a volunteer position.
Another comment on bosses. When I was a boss, I always had an open door policy. I would listen to the complaints, then ask what they thought would be a solution. I would then talk them through their idea. One time I had two coworkers who were arguing all the time. I took them into a room and had them tell the other what they didn’t like about the other. I had each one repeat back what they heard. It was very revealing. Then I asked them to figure out how to work this out (with me present) as their arguments had nothing to do with the company’s mission statement. That scenario never happened again.
Congrats Bill on being listed as one of the Top 6 Newsletters for Business Owners. Read it here. https://www.inc.com/brit-morse/best-newsletters-business-busy-people-email-inbox.html
Go Bill!
While I can understand a sales manager’s frustration at poor performance , I detest having to sit in a general sales meeting while the manager screams and yells while berating the group. My experience in this situation upset me so much that I decided to QUIT! After the Christmas holiday, I returned to work after New Years to learn that the manager had resigned - which saved my career.
It seems to me that situation would have been better handled on a one on one basis.
We operate a small non-profit that provides support services to intellectually and developmentally disabled adults, and we recently had a very bad experience with an Executive Director who was obviously very knowledgeable but could not, or would not, effectively communicate with staff. She immediately created a toxic atmosphere that almost dared a staff member to ask questions, make comments, or just do their jobs. In two weeks, she managed to run off two-thirds of our staff, each commenting on the fact that they were not going to be talked down to by anyone, and that she wanted it done her way or the highway. This immediately created an atmosphere where everyone was on pins and needles everyday. She didn't last a month, because she also could not communicate with the Board of Directors.
I have been in management positions most of my professional life, and cannot imagine anyone in a management position not knowing to listen with two ears and talk with one mouth, and that the mouth does not need to be loud and abusive, just thoughtful and open. Easy as that.
Bosses: Boy they really missed one that is all too common, the Shark Tank Boss. Every employee is a shark in a tank and pitted against each other. The Boss will frequently "cut" one employee, usually the weakest one in his opinion, and let the other employees devour the weak one to the point that they quit. This accomplishes two things, one, there is no unemployment claim since the employee quit, two, the boss doesn't have to have that dreaded "You gotta go" meeting with the employee. Only a truly crappy person with no self worth would manage like this.