Hard to do but I'm glad you did find the strenght to tell your dads story. A lot to unpack there and hitting very close to home for me. Not so much the suicide but I've seen the emptiness of loss of purpose in so many friends and colleages who've retired "cold" in the past few years. The "cold" I see as going from full speed to no speed.…
Hard to do but I'm glad you did find the strenght to tell your dads story. A lot to unpack there and hitting very close to home for me. Not so much the suicide but I've seen the emptiness of loss of purpose in so many friends and colleages who've retired "cold" in the past few years.
The "cold" I see as going from full speed to no speed. From a fixed daily routine with to do's and humans to bounce off inside and outside the workplace to PJs, dog walks (although I suspect the canine would be OK with seeing more of you), unlimited golf and the best tee times. But that's not sustainable. If you've punched 30 years that's like a 3 or 4 month sabbatical. Desperatley needed but then what? Time to get back to .....work? No - that's done.
So how about a "warm" retirement. You warm up the car in the winter, you warm up before exercise, you warm up to asking the military dad for her hand (wait another story for another time) but you get my drift here. It's time I believe for considering formal semi- or '"warm" retirement plans at workplaces. Maybe Tuesday to Thursday in your last year with no loss of benefits or contributions to retirement savings plans. Couple that with "Now What" programs to formally ask that question and pressent ideas and options. Not just financial planners but life coaches, fitness/wellness folks and signifcant others in the mix of these programs. Be good for them to know what is coming!
I have,as you can probably discern, given this some thought. On the personal side I've got a few irons in the fire as retirement approaches. I'm writing a book of short strories, beefing up my teaching chops (Masters) to teach part time, and I'm looking a doing some voice over work. And yes there will be more golf and ballroom lessons. (another story there on that combo).
Love the idea of a “warm” (vs cold) retirement. I’m think about it as pre-retirement planning. I do career transition coaching so I’m talking about this topic quite a bit.
Shedding an identity built solely around a work role is daunting. Until I left a FT job/career, I didn’t realize how much my sense of myself was invested in that role and persona. It’s taken me 5+ yrs to identify my own passion/purpose that gives me an Identity closer to my true self and what I enjoy. And to build a small business with hours and clients that fit my true self. And something I can do for yrs to come.
The one big assumption many people make about their retirement is they will focus on the relationships in their life. Spend time with grandkids, or spouses. True for both men and women. But. That’s often a problem when they assume those relationships are more than they really are. So for my clients, reaching out and rebuilding relationships is essential to making their retirement less isolating. I myself am working on the same thing. Western civilization celebrates independence. What nonsense. Keeps us from finding people in our lives on whom we can depend. That takes courage. The Lone Ranger myth is a killer.
Enjoying reading all the comments here. And my heart goes out to those sharing how people have suffered. Depression is more common than we’re comfortable talking about. Working FT and filling our days with activities is too often a way to cover it up. Becoming comfortable with not doing? Buddhism has much to offer there. I’ll stop with that. We’re all doing the best we can.
Hard to do but I'm glad you did find the strenght to tell your dads story. A lot to unpack there and hitting very close to home for me. Not so much the suicide but I've seen the emptiness of loss of purpose in so many friends and colleages who've retired "cold" in the past few years.
The "cold" I see as going from full speed to no speed. From a fixed daily routine with to do's and humans to bounce off inside and outside the workplace to PJs, dog walks (although I suspect the canine would be OK with seeing more of you), unlimited golf and the best tee times. But that's not sustainable. If you've punched 30 years that's like a 3 or 4 month sabbatical. Desperatley needed but then what? Time to get back to .....work? No - that's done.
So how about a "warm" retirement. You warm up the car in the winter, you warm up before exercise, you warm up to asking the military dad for her hand (wait another story for another time) but you get my drift here. It's time I believe for considering formal semi- or '"warm" retirement plans at workplaces. Maybe Tuesday to Thursday in your last year with no loss of benefits or contributions to retirement savings plans. Couple that with "Now What" programs to formally ask that question and pressent ideas and options. Not just financial planners but life coaches, fitness/wellness folks and signifcant others in the mix of these programs. Be good for them to know what is coming!
I have,as you can probably discern, given this some thought. On the personal side I've got a few irons in the fire as retirement approaches. I'm writing a book of short strories, beefing up my teaching chops (Masters) to teach part time, and I'm looking a doing some voice over work. And yes there will be more golf and ballroom lessons. (another story there on that combo).
My two cents for today.
Great perspective. Everyone is different and has their own path to follow!
Love the idea of a “warm” (vs cold) retirement. I’m think about it as pre-retirement planning. I do career transition coaching so I’m talking about this topic quite a bit.
Shedding an identity built solely around a work role is daunting. Until I left a FT job/career, I didn’t realize how much my sense of myself was invested in that role and persona. It’s taken me 5+ yrs to identify my own passion/purpose that gives me an Identity closer to my true self and what I enjoy. And to build a small business with hours and clients that fit my true self. And something I can do for yrs to come.
The one big assumption many people make about their retirement is they will focus on the relationships in their life. Spend time with grandkids, or spouses. True for both men and women. But. That’s often a problem when they assume those relationships are more than they really are. So for my clients, reaching out and rebuilding relationships is essential to making their retirement less isolating. I myself am working on the same thing. Western civilization celebrates independence. What nonsense. Keeps us from finding people in our lives on whom we can depend. That takes courage. The Lone Ranger myth is a killer.
Enjoying reading all the comments here. And my heart goes out to those sharing how people have suffered. Depression is more common than we’re comfortable talking about. Working FT and filling our days with activities is too often a way to cover it up. Becoming comfortable with not doing? Buddhism has much to offer there. I’ll stop with that. We’re all doing the best we can.
Emily. Good for you and for those you are helping with your passion for career transition coaching.